Beautiful Blooms Require Work

Growing up my Mom had the most beautiful gardens.  She still does.  She cares for them in a meticulous manner.  She weeds them and ensures that no plant is chocking the life out of another plant.  She waters them and provides them with the necessary nutrients that they need to grow to their full potential.

My Mom really enjoys gardening.  She knows what it takes to make a garden grow.

I, on the other hand, would LOVE to have a beautiful garden with beautiful flowers blooming but I want nothing to do with the work involved in taking care of it.  The thought of being outdoors weeding and pruning and cutting and digging is not my idea of fun.

As Lysa TerKeurst says, "I want the flowers but not the work.  Isn't that the way it is with many things in life -- we want the results but have no desire to put in the work required?"  (Made to Crave pg. 35).

Now take a look at how you care for yourself.  We wash ourselves to ensure that we are clean on the outside.  Some times we even take special care in how we style our hair and we may even put on some makeup.  A splash of perfume and something nice to wear and we are ready to face the day.

However, what are you putting into your body to care for it?

Just like a gardener wouldn't feed their plants something that would potentially harm them, we too need to be aware of the "deadly" foods that we are putting into our bodies.

We need to be willing to do the work in order to cultivate a healthier version of ourselves.

I am sure that we all wish that we could snap our fingers and voila!  A smarter, better, healthier version of ourselves would appear.  However, we all know that it is something only possible in our dreams.

Besides, if we could do that, then what would become of our relationship with God that we have been so strongly working towards?  We may be a physically healthier version of ourselves but we would not be a spiritually healthier version of ourselves.

This journey is going to take everything you can put into it and then some.  At times it may even require your blood, sweat and tears.  But keep your eyes fixed on the destination that you are working towards.

I cannot say how long this journey is going to take you because for each person it is different.  I have been on this journey for almost 4 years and with each day I grow healthier both physically and spiritually.  I have had my set backs.  I have shed many tears and yes, there was even some blood involved.  However, I can see my destination and I know that I will be a much stronger person once I get there.

Food Diary: Friend or Foe?

Do you keep a Food Diary.  You know, that little book that you write down every little morsel of food that goes into your mouth? 

Okay, I will admit, it can be extremely daunting and difficult and horribly old fashioned, but you would be surprised how many extra little details you miss when you try and calculate everything at the end of the day.

A Food Diary can be a great way to help you stay on track in your journey and can also help you to see when, in your life, you are more susceptible to snacking on foods that we know we will feel guilty about later.

Earlier today I posted this question on my Facebook Page.  Mothers consume an extra 73,043 calories a year by doing this . . . . 


The answer?  Stealing food from their kids.

Incredible isn't it?  Without thought we are allowing ourselves to fall prey to the one thing we are trying so hard to prevent.

I know that I am guilty of this and I am trying so hard to not do it.  Regardless of how much my mouth is watering when I see those delicious and delectable Teddy Graham crackers on the table!

Now, a Food Diary is going to be of no value to you if you cannot be honest.  That means, regardless of whether or not you had a bowl of ice cream at 9:00 a.m., you need to write it down.  That way, when you look back on it you will be able to see why you are not as far along in your journey as you were hoping or if your eating patterns reflect significant events in your life.

So what are some benefits of keeping a Food Diary?  Well, here are a few for you:

• Accountability - have your partner or a friend look at your Food Diary with you at the end of the week to see where you could have been more faithful in your journey.  
• Increases Awareness - you are able to more readily see where those extra calories are coming from
• Calorie Awareness - a Food Diary might help you realize that you are eating too many calories at one meal and will help you see where you can shed some calories and more strategically place them throughout your day.
• Proper Eating - a Food Diary will help you realize if you are eating too much of one food group and not enough from another food group.  It will also help you realize if you are eating enough fruits and vegetables.
• Portion Sizes - a Food Diary can also help you see if you are eating proper portion sizes in your meals.  Not sure what proper portion sizes are?  Check Here!

Those are some pretty big benefits!

When I started off on my journey I kept a Food Diary occasionally.  I will admit, I was not always the most faithful at writing in it daily but when I did, it most definitely helped me see where I was going wrong and what I needed to change.  Plus, my husband would look at it which helped to keep me more accountable.

My biggest pointer to keeping a Food Diary would be to write down what you are going to eat the day before.  That way, you can just follow it without having to sit and think and ponder throughout your day.  However, make sure that if you do eat something that was not previously written down that you include it in, maybe in a different colour, so that you can see where you may need to make changes (for example:  you may need to add in more protein throughout your day to help curb your cravings for snacks).

Here are 5 tips from WebMD to help you keep your Food Diary:

• Write as you go.  Don't wait until the end of the day to record what you ate and drank.  "We recommend they write down as soon as they can after they eat," says Victor Stevens, PhD.
• Focus on portion size.  Practice at home with measuring cups, measuring spoons, or food scales.  And be aware that people tend to underestimate how much food they're served.
• Use whatever type of Food Diary that works for you.  It doesn't matter whether you use scrap paper, a personal digital assistant (PDA), or a notebook.  What matters is that you use it.
• Don't skip your indulgent days.  "We encourage people to keep records especially on days when they're tempted to eat," says Stevens.  "What gets measured tends to get changed."
• Cook at home.  You'll have more control over what you consume, and you know what that food contains, and how much of it you're eating.  That makes for a more detailed entry in your food diary.

Another important thing to consider when you are keeping your Food Diary, says Julian Hooks from Review that Diet, is what you were doing while you were eating.  He lists 4 important questions to ask yourself:

1. Did you eat in front of the TV?
2. Were you snacking while preparing a meal or cleaning up afterwards?
3. Do you eat while doing other tasks like reading or working?
4. Do you frequently eat as a social activity?

"These are most often times that we eat without even realizing it," he says.  "And more importantly, eating while we are not even hungry."

So if a Food Diary is something that you feel will work for you then I encourage you to start one today!!!  It may be another step in your journey to help you realize your cravings towards food and turn them into cravings towards God!

If you require a template to follow for your Food Diary, consider this one from Review that Diet.

I'll Praise You With The Dance!

Dear Friends, today I want to dance!

The sun is shining, the air is cool, and the skies are blue!  My heart and my soul are filled in so many unbelievable ways!

I can feel God working in my life as my heart becomes less troubled and begins to feel more at ease.

Oh how I want to kick up my feet and dance for Jesus!

God has been making my heart and my spirit joyful in a time when I feel like I could be discouraged and downcast.  Life seems to have been filled with many trials and tribulations lately but through God's grace I am managing to over come them.

Do you find that when things get tough and unexpected situations arise it is much easier to turn away from the journey and turn to what we think gives us comfort?  Do you find that the temptation to turn to that pint of ice cream or chocolate bar bears down on you stronger than before?

It does for me.

It is like every fiber in my being, everything part of me is drawn to those things that I know will only leave me with an empty feeling of satisfaction and an extreme amount of guilt.  I find myself taking steps towards the cupboard or the fridge where the the snacks are "hiding" only to snap back to reality and turn in the opposite direction.

Oh how easy it is, dear friends, to fall on our knees before God and pray when things in our life are going as expected!  Yet how easy it is for us to turn away from the great comforter and deliverer when we feel like we have been handed the short end of the stick.

Dear Friends, may I continue to encourage you to press on!  Continue to break down the mountain of bricks of temptations and cravings and turn them into a pathway of prayer!  Your rewards will be great!

Grocery Store - Friend or Foe?

The end of the week is drawing near which means a much needed trip to our local grocery store.

This is a good and a bad thing for me.

We need groceries to be able to eat and with a fridge full of fresh fruits and vegetables, eating healthy and making smarter choices is much easier.

The bad thing?  All the unhealthy choices that stare me straight in the face as I walk through the aisles.

It is so hard to turn away from cookies, cakes, ice cream, popsicles, chocolate, gummies . . . you name it, as you walk past them in the grocery store.

Have you ever noticed that no matter how hard you try these things always seem to creep up on you?

I purposely try not to take my children with me when I do my groceries because it is so much easier to avoid temptations when your children are not there asking for this, that and the next thing.

Yet it can also be a dangerous place to be in when you are trying to eat right and make those choices that you know are better for you.

I have caught myself before, standing in front of the Oreo cookies and I do believe that I had a line of drool escaping from my lips!

It has been said that the outer perimeter of your local grocery store is the healthiest place to shop.  So, you should purchase as much of your groceries from this section as you can.  It is here where you will find your fruits, vegetables, breads, meats, cheese, and dairy.

However, nestled right in there, snug beside the fruits and the vegetables are these glorious looking clear bins filled with bright coloured, sugar coated, some salty and some sweet, delicious, delectable candy.

Why in the world would a store designer think that this would be a great place to put candy bins!  I mean, here I am walking through the grocery store being proud of all the healthy foods that I am placing in my shopping cart, giving myself a great pat on the back that so far, I have been able to resist temptations.

And then it hits me . . . smack in the face.

I do my best to put my blinders up.  I walk with my head down (although I do not advise this if your grocery store is busy) and try to rush past the bins swallowing as much as I can since my mouth has begun to water at the sight of all the sugary, seemingly divine candy.

Apparently, dear friends, these temptations are hard to resist regardless of how far along in our journey we are.

It is important to remember that, despite continuously having these feelings, it is not a sign that you are failing.

I know that I have had that thought time and again.  How can I be at this point in my journey and still have these types of feelings towards foods that I know I should not have?!?!

The answer is not an easy one.  I honestly cannot say why my body reacts the way that it does towards sugar, chocolate, chips . . . anything that it seems to know that it cannot have.

Just typing this post to you all and my mouth is watering.

What I do know is that I have a Heavenly Father who wants to do battle for me.  I have a God who wants to stand beside me and help me overcome my temptations.

And lastly, I have a heart that longs to desire a deeper, more intimate relationship with my Creator.

Even if it means that I sit here eating cucumber instead of a bowl of chips.

Focus on Yourself - It's Okay!

I am first and foremost a Daughter of a Great and Glorious Heavenly Father.

Then I am an earthly daughter, a wife, a mother and a friend.

I have so many things pulling me in all different directions.  My family, my job, my church family and my friends.  I give with all that I have to all things that I am involved in and care deeply about.

In the process, however, I slowly begin to lose focus on something equally as important.

Me.

One thing that I have been learning is that it is so easy for us, as women, to lose focus on ourselves.  We want to pour all that we have into those that we love.  We want the best for them, to encourage them, to be there for them and to guide and teach them.  With all of this outpouring we tend to put our own personal needs on the back burner.

Sometimes we look for an easy way out just so that we can feel like we are focusing on ourselves.  Call it a quick fix or simple solutions.  Whatever it is, we give ourselves credit, then, for giving ourselves some of the attention that we need.

The problem, dear friends, is that we are not pouring enough of ourselves back into our own personal well-being.  We slack when it comes to our relationship with our Heavenly Father (how many times have you caught yourself saying "I will do my devotions later.  There is just so much stuff that needs to be done in the house."), we slack when it comes to our eating habits ("I'll just grab a bite to eat on the way to my meeting."), and we slack when it comes to exercise ("I will go for that walk tomorrow.  I am just too tired today.").

We need to learn to put ourselves first too.  It is okay to say "I will take the time to go for that walk right now.  The dishes can wait."  We need to take that extra few minutes to prepare a healthy meal or snack before heading out the door.

If we continue to pour ourselves out to others and not pour enough back into ourselves we are going to reach that inevitable burn out.

It happens . . . . to ALL of us.

Now is the time to make yourself aware of it.

Maybe you are not naturally a giving person.  That is okay!  However, somewhere along the lines I am sure that you, too, have lost sight of yourself.

God calls our bodies "temples of the Holy Spirit" (1 Corinthians 6 vv 19 to 20) and he calls us to "honour [Him] with our body."  My question to you, then, is how can we honour Him with our body if we are not taking care of it?

Dear Friends, I urge you to remember to take time for yourself.  Take time to rest, take time to eat healthy and take time to encourage yourself.

Above all, take time to spend in solitude with your Heavenly Father who loves you greatly.

You will reap the rewards when you do!  And believe me, they are well worth it!

The Dreaded Bathing Suit

Bathing Suit Season.

Dreaded, horrible, scary . . . . bathing suit season.

At least, that is how I used to feel.

The thought of putting on a bathing suit terrified me.  How could I allow people to see stretch marks, cellulite, jiggly legs and dare I mention my tummy!  Oh man!  That fact alone would have me run screaming from the nearest beach or pool!

I have never been a fan of "bearing all" in order to go swimming.  One pieces wouldn't do it for me as it still could not hide the rolls.  Tankinis were always a no go because my tummy would hang out the bottom.  I hated the idea of wearing a t-shirt over my bathing suit because it just made me feel like a beached whale!

A lot of that has changed in the last year though.  I have started to look at myself in a different light and have started realizing that I have a lot more to live for than caring what other people think about the way that I look in a bathing suit.

I want to be able to enjoy the time at the beach or the pool with my children.  I don't want to be chained down by my appearance or by those evil and nasty thoughts that swirl through my mind.

I didn't like feeling embarrassed or feeling fat.  I didn't want to be a woman that people went home and talked about amongst their friends.

Have you ever felt that way?  It is such a gut wrenching feeling.  It brings you down and draws you into this deep dark place.

I really disliked being in that state of mind.

Yet here I sit, 8 pounds away from my goal and I am an extremely happy person.  Not only because of the fact that I have lost weight (I mean, that is an occasion in and of itself to be happy about it) but because I am finally starting to feel good in my body.  I still feel like I have a long ways to go.  Not just weight wise, but personal appreciation wise.

I have found it interesting to learn that despite not being able to exercise these last few weeks (and still not being able to exercise as my knee is still slightly swollen and agitated) that I am still losing weight.  It goes to show that weight loss is not just about how much you exercise, but also about diet or how and what you eat.

Don't get me wrong.  Exercise is IMPORTANT!  I will never deny or doubt that.  It is great for raising your endorphins and making you feel better about yourself.  It has a way of lifting moods and raising spirits and helping you to get through your day or work out stress in a healthy manner.  Not to mention all the other health benefits that are associated with exercise.

However, no amount of exercise is going to do us any good if we continue to eat in the same manner that we had been before.  Not amount of exercise can justify that donut you ate the other day or that bowl of chips you ate on Saturday.

Losing weight is 80% diet and 20% exercise.  I always thought that I needed to work my pretty little tail off in order to lose weight.  The downside was that I was not really paying attention to what I was eating or how much I was eating.  I may have seen muscle developing but the numbers on the scale were stuck.

Since I have started with the South Beach Diet and since having this knee injury I am beginning to realize more and more the truth to all of this.  Not to mention the power of prayer!  Every day I am so thankful for this new found relationship with God that I have been given.

Dear Friends, might I remind you, at the end of all, to not get discouraged!  Keep at it and know that there are many out there who are cheering you on!  Me included!!!!!

Oh!  That dreaded bathing suit?  We are slowly learning to become friends.  I haven't quite ventured out too far with it yet, but we are getting there.  Who knows, maybe by the end of the summer I will have made it to the public beach without hesitation and without fear!

I Long to be Closer

It would be so nice to be able to sit down and write to you all and say that I was faithful to my eating plans this week and not once did I waiver off of my diet.

That would be WAY off the mark!

There will be no denial here!  I will be honest with each and everyone of you in hopes that you too will be honest with yourself and with others that are holding you accountable.

Yet even though I wavered, I can be honest and say that may waivers were more like a slip off the road and not a huge tumble!  For this I will be joyful and I will give THANKS!

As some of you may know, I have been doing the South Beach Diet and it has been providing me with some good results.  Okay, I will be honest, AMAZING results considering the 21 days that I had gone without even dropping a single, lonely, solitary pound!

Unfortunately I hit a rough patch about mid week though.  I am not entirely sure what was causing it nor am I convinced that it wasn't a tactic from Satan trying to deter me from everything that I had been and WILL continue to do.

I just had one of those days where, from the moment I stepped out of bed, my heart was heavy and burdened. I am an extreme emotional eater and find that in cases like that I turn almost automatically towards food.  It is like a place of solitude for me.  Well, at least it had been before.

I found that this time, though, I spent in prayer before God.  I asked for many things that day:  clarity, understanding, power, courage and even satisfaction.

I cried . . . I pleaded . . . I begged.

And God provided.  Those temptations to eat were replaced with a heart that was earnestly seeking to Praise Him.  The temptations to binge on foods that I know I would regret in the morning were filled with a longing to want to be closer to my Heavenly Father.

I will admit that I had a tiny, little handful of Teddy Grahams.  I know that it probably was not the best snack to choose.  However, in the end I did not sit with an entire bag of Teddy Grahams in front of me and I most certainly did not go back for a second handful.

So for that I am joyful!

It has been and will continue to be a long, never ending journey for me.  It is not like I am going to reach what I hope will be my goal weight and say that I will no longer battle with food addictions and temptations. Yet I know that through our Heavenly Father, he will give me the strength that I need to continue on.  It is only through HIM that all of this has been possible.

As I write to you today, I am currently down 6 lbs and I am that much closer to my goal of being a healthier version of me.  I hope that God will continue to grant me a life much bigger than anything I could have ever anticipated.  It is my hope that "HE is not finished with me yet!"

What are some of your successes this week?  I would absolutely love to hear them!

My Running Partner is Prayer

Training.

I never thought that I would be saying that word again.  And yet here I am actively admitting that I am training.

Not in the "work my tail off to the point where I am so exhausted I have nothing left to give my family" kind of training, but the "let's keep this up so that I can accomplish this" kind of training.

There is an all women 5 km race held in Toronto in October and I am looking to register!  To be honest, I am actually kind of excited about it!  The last time I ran a race was in October 2007 . . . 6 months after I gave birth to Hailey, our youngest daughter.

I have always had a soft spot for running.  I cannot say that I am very good at it, but I enjoy it.  I love the feeling of the pavement beneath my feet and the way that I can just get lost in my music as I round the corners of the streets in my neighbourhood.

I love being able to plug into my music and being able to let go of the day.  With every step that I take as I run the streets of this town, I find that whatever stress I had about the day is being left right there.  Like it falls off my back and lands right there to be left behind.

Some of my favourite music to listen to while I am running is Praise and Worship music.  I love being able to worship and glorify God while I am pounding the pavement!  Plus, there is nothing better than hearing words being spoken to your heart while you are out there.  Often times I find myself in prayer as I run.  I know that you may think that praying while running is strange, but I find it to be a fantastic way to end my work day.  What better way to end your day then with songs bring Praise to our Heavenly Father and with the words of our mouth praising and glorifying Him, coming before Him and talking to Him as we would our own father or friend.

Plus, there are often times where I need to pray to ask God to give me the strength to finish that run at the end of the day.

Often times we tell ourselves that the only way we can come to God in prayer is on bended knee in a place of solitude.  How mistaken we are!  God wants us to come to Him in prayer at all times!  It doesn't matter if we are on the bus, walking to work or if we are out for a run at the end of the day.  When we come to God in prayer seeking forgiveness for our wrong doings and bring praises to Him then we are truly bringing Him everything.

Don't get me wrong, I am not denying the importance of prayer in solitude on bended knee.  I believe that this, too, is important.  However, we need to remember that God wants all of our prayers.  He wants us to reach out to Him and to talk to Him just as we would reach out to our best friend or to a loved one.  He wants us to talk to Him about our day.  He wants to be that listening ear.

So the next time you are out for a run or are on the treadmill or out for a walk, whatever form of exercise that you do, bring your day to Him in prayer.  You will feel the difference in your heart and trust me, it will all be worth it!!!

I'm Doing My Happy Dance!

Good Morning Dear Friends!

The sun is shining, the birds are singing and it is a beautiful day!

I thought that I would take a moment to let you in on a little celebration that I am having.  You see, today a change has been made!  A glorious, wonderful change that was not produced on my own but with the help of our Heavenly Father!

The Numbers on the Scale Moved . . . . DOWN!

That's right!  They moved!  I was beyond excited that I let out a squeal of delight!  It had been 25 days without really seeing those numbers move and this morning they did!

Out of sheer desperation I started to look into the South Beach Diet.  My reasoning behind choosing this diet was because it was healthy, I could use ALL my own foods and there were no supplements that I would have to take.

I had the support of my husband who even started to read the book just to see what it was all about it.  That is a huge factor for me!  Without his support, something like this would be extremely difficult.

I am extremely thankful that God led me in a direction that I would find something different that would work.  Without his direction I am sure that I would have looked at it as just some fad diet and probably would have ignored it.

Thank you, dear friends, for your prayers and support.  I am no where near the end of this journey, but I am one step closer!

Now, off to do my happy dance and to go and make myself some breakfast!

Through The Eyes of a Child

Have you ever tried to look at life through the eyes of your child?  Tried to see things as purely as they see them?  Without the distortions that have been placed on them by society?

This is Jordan.  She is my beautiful, rambunctious, energetic, 6 year old daughter.  She is one of my blessings.

As I walked past my bedroom a colourful sight caught my eye.  Taped to my door is a picture of me that Jordan drew (glasses and all!) with the following words written by her:  "You are lovely Mommy."

Now, Jordan drew this for me a long time ago.  It brought tears to my eyes then and as I walked past it this morning it brought tears to my eyes again.

You are LOVELY Mommy


Those words spoke volumes to my heart this morning.

Society as a whole has created this distorted vision of what "beauty" looks like.  There is a lot of pressure placed on us as woman by society that if we are not petite than we are not beautiful, if we do not have certain proportionate figures we are not beautiful.

How wrong this thinking is!

It is not up to society to determine what beauty is because beauty is so much more than what we look like.  Beauty should be determined by what is inside.  NOT what is seen outside.

Yet many of us woman are caught up in the photos we see in magazines and the images we see on TV.  That to be beautiful I need to be able to wear a bikini on the beach and be a size 4 (or whatever the going size is now!).

I know that I am guilty of this myself.  I compare.  I pout.  I cry.

This stops today.  No more comparing.  No more caring what the other women at the pool think of me when I wear my bathing suit to go swimming with my kids.

I want to set an example for my children that shows them that leading a healthy lifestyle is important.

I want my children to know that they are beautiful no matter what society may think.

Most importantly, I want my children to know and have a loving relationship with their Heavenly Father.

I many not look like other woman but I am lovely.  At least to those that matter most to me!

Struggles of the Heart

Dear Friends, I apologize for my lack of writing lately.  I was away on a trip to a Children's Ministry conference in Atlanta.  Let me tell you, my heart, my mind and my soul were filled to the brim while I was away!  It is so amazing to be in a place with 5,000 other people praising and lifting our hands and hearts in worship to our Heavenly Father!

My week away brought a lot of realizations into my life.  Some of those being my own personal relationship with our Heavenly Father and others being the lives of my children.  I feel so refreshed after being away!  What was even more touching to me was coming home to my family and hearing of how much they appreciate all that I do!

With all that being said, these last 3 days have brought challenges for me.  I am finding myself struggling giving over my weight issues to God.  Before I left I thought that I had truly brought my struggles to the foot of the cross and left them in the hands of God.  However, now that I have returned home I have since learned that I am still looking at it in terms of self and not in terms of bringing all that I have to Him.

The numbers are making me increasingly discouraged as well.  It has been 21 days since I have begun making many lifestyle changes and I have yet to see an impact in the numbers.  I am trying to remind myself that this journey is not just about the numbers.  That I am not determined by the size of my clothes but rather by my love for our Heavenly Father.

Still, discouragement seems to surround me.  How can I be making these lifestyle changes and not be seeing a difference?  What will it take for me to bring my weight down to a healthier place?  Is this a test for me?

I wish that I had the answers to the questions that circle around in my head each day.

I am currently reading a book by John Piper titled "A Hunger for God:  Desiring God Through Fasting and Prayer".  I am finding myself at a point where I need to do all that I can to try and still my mind and my heart so that I can hear God speaking to me clearly.

Dear Friends, I want to thank you for sticking with me this far.  Please know that this is my cry for help and a way for you to understand, even if it is briefly, the struggles that many of us face when it comes to our weight.  It is so easy for us to put labels on people, but remember that you do not know the struggles of their heart.

Break Day!

I almost feel guilty writing this post.  Like I really should be working out or something.  Today is Break Day for me.  I have worked hard since last week Friday and worked out every day.  Today, though, I need to allow my body to take a break.  I need to allow it to rest so that it can be prepared for some vigorous workout sessions. You see, I am stuck at a plateau at the moment.  A sign that I need to start pushing myself harder in my workouts.  In order to do that, I need to allow my body time to rest.  My legs are showing it today.  I have hardly enough strength in them to walk up and down a flight of stairs!

Yet oddly enough, I am almost sad that I do not have a workout planned for today.  I feel like maybe I should workout.  That I should try and push myself through it today.  However, I know that our bodies do need a rest too.

I leave for Atlanta next week which will make it hard to workout as often as I have been.  I think that this is looming in the back of my head.  Maybe this is the reason why I am feeling so guilty.  I plan on taking my running shoes with me and I hope to get in at least 2 runs while I am gone, but you just never know how things are going to go while you are travelling.  Will I feel comfortable in a new city running?  Will there be a gym at the hotel I am staying at?  Will I even have the time or will my days be so full that my exercise will be forgotten?

I know that it is okay to not workout every day.  Yet there are times where I feel like I SHOULD be.  Sometimes I feel like the only way I will lose weight is to push myself to the max day in and day out.

How do you feel when it is not a workout day?  Do you feel guilty for taking a break?  What do you do on your "off" days?

I just want to take a moment and say Thank You to all of you who have been reading my Blog and taking this journey with me!  Please feel free to post your comments, questions, and concerns!  I would LOVE to hear them!

Turning Your Cravings Into a Blessing

Dear Friends, if I could encourage you to go out and buy the book Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst than today would be a glorious day!  This book is so powerful!  If you could only see the post it notes that I have strewn throughout the book as I vigorously write notes while I read!  Lately I cannot be seen without my pencil, Post It Notes and my book!

If you recall in this post, I talked about the First Story of Temptation.  How Eve was tempted with food by Satan in the Garden of Eden.  Satan wants to do everything possible to draw us away from the one who love us.  He wants to do everything he can to replace our cravings for God with something else.

Lysa TerKeurst writes:

Satan intentionally chooses his tactics.  He knows where we are weak.  He desires to lure us away from God.  And he knows what works . . . the cravings of the sinful man, the lust of his eyes, and the boasting of what he has or does.  (1 John 2 vs 15 to 16)

We already know that Eve was tempted in the Bible and the story of Satan tempting Jesus is just as powerful (Matthew 4 vs 1 to 11).  What is important though, is to look at how differently both Eve and Jesus reacted when they were tempted.  You see, Eve was saturated in the object of her desire and Jesus was saturated in God's truth (Lysa TerKeurst, Made to Crave pg 23).

Can you think back to the last time you had a bag of chips?  Or maybe a chocolate chip cookie or a brownie?  For some of you that will be a long time ago, for others that is just around the corner!  Now here is the bigger question:  were you able to eat just one?  Be honest with yourself.  Chances are you were unable to stop at just one.  You may have wanted to stop at one, but even subconsciously you were still reaching into the bag.

Well here comes the hard truth.  We crave what we eat.  If we allow ourselves to eat unhealthy foods and to make unhealthy choices we will continuously crave unhealthy foods with gusto!  If we allow ourselves to make healthy food choices and to eat more fruits and vegetables, then eventually we will begin to reach for those healthy choices and push aside the desire for pre-packaged convenience foods that are loaded with sugar or salt or fried goodness.  Eve craved what she focused on.  We crave what we think about.  And what we think about can consume us if we are not careful (Lysa TerKeurst, Made to Crave pg 23).

Look back at the story of Jesus being tempted in the desert.  What is one thing that stands out to you?  Is it just the fact that He was tempted?  Look deeper if necessary.  Pull out your study Bible and delve deep into that passage.  When Satan tempted Jesus, Jesus fought back with the power of God's word.  What better way to fight off temptation than with the overwhelming power of Scripture!  You too can fight off temptations using God's word!  Truth is powerful.  The more saturated we are with truth the more powerful we'll be in resisting our temptations.  And the more we'll naturally direct our cravings to where they should be directed -- to the Author of all truth.  (Lysa TerKeursst, Made to Crave pg 24).

Dear friends, as you spend time in prayer and studying God's word, write down passages that you feel will help you come stand before God boldly to fight off and resist the temptations that we face!  Keep these passages with you so that you can fight back with the power of God's word!

We may see our cravings for food as a curse but miraculously we can use our cravings for food as a blessing! We can turn our cravings for food into strong powerful cravings for God and His word and all that He can do for us!  I know that I will now see my cravings in this way.  No longer will I allow myself to be the victim!

Discouragement In The Form of a Number

There are mornings where I wake up and just feel completely and utterly defeated.  I know that this journey is not only about the numbers on the scale.  I know that it is not only about how I look outside, but also about how I feel inside.  I know that it is about my walk with God and not just about my weight loss journey.

Unfortunately, though, I still want the scale to reflect the work and the effort that I have been putting into all of this.

I find that as I work hard to achieve a healthy weight and a healthy lifestyle there are many factors that get in the way of that.  You see, I am someone who becomes easily discouraged with myself.  I beat myself down for eating the wrong things and I become increasingly frustrated with the weigh scale.

This morning, as I stepped on the scale I was utterly shocked to see the numbers GO UP!  It was increasingly frustrating and all I wanted to do was crawl back into bed and cry.  It is discouraging to see numbers rise when you want them to fall.

Since going back to bed was not an option I did the only other thing that I could think of to do.  I prayed.

This time around I don't want to give up.  I don't want to become so discouraged that I resort back to binge eating and filling myself up with unhealthy choices.  This time around I want to fill myself up with the Holy Spirit and know that God is in control.

So today I will turn to God rather then turn inwards.  Today I will make the choice to continue to let God be my guide and know that His hands are holding me as I take this journey.  Today I will strive to crave God more than the unhealthy choices that will inevitably face me throughout the day.

Will you make that choice too?  Will you tell yourself that today is the day that I put God first?  Will you remind yourself that even though things can become discouraging and frustrating, God wants you to bring your struggles to Him, on bended knee, in earnest prayer?

I WILL!

I Want to What?

Exercise is not something that I have enjoyed doing.  I will admit, I . . . Am . . . . Lazy.  Once I was done work and the Little One's had gone home, all I wanted to do was kick back on the couch with a steaming cup of coffee and a good book (or the TV).  Who could even think about exercising after working an 11 hour work day running around after six (6) Little One's and then taking care of the house and making sure that everyone in the house was fed?  The woman that could think of exercising after that must be one strong and powerful woman who is goal oriented and focused on the task at hand.  That woman was most certainly not me.

At least, at the time it wasn't.

You see, it turns out that I could become that type of woman.  I could be the type of woman who was up at 6 a.m. to start work and to ensure that her own two (2) girls were dressed and fed ready for school.  I could be the type of woman who spent the day watching six (6) Little One's, teaching them, encouraging them, loving them for 11 hours for the day and then sending them home with their parents.  I could be the type of woman who cooks a healthy meal for her family.  I could by the type of woman who could do ALL that and then think of lacing up her shoes and going for a run or maybe even a spin on the bike.

The longer that I work at changing my focus from craving food to craving God, I find that my attitude towards exercise is changing too.  I find that there is a desire to workout now.  I feel like if I don't workout then my day is lacking something.

Today was supposed to be a rest day.  I was supposed to enjoy my down time and curl up on the couch with a cup of tea, my laptop and a nice chat with a good friend.  However, I found myself walking the door after returning from leading a group of kids at church and wanting to lace up my sneakers and put a few kilometres under my feet.  So that is what I did!  I laced up and went out and ran 3 km.  Boy did it feel good!

There is something so rejuvenating and empowering about getting out with some powerful praise and worship music and putting some mileage between me and my day.  It feels great to work out the frustrations of the day that I had.  My head becomes more clear and my perspective on life seems to switch.  That is not to say that today was an overly frustrating day.  It was just a long one with a frustrating moment.  It felt good to have God speak to me as I listened to the sounds of the music flowing in my ears.

Dear friends, if you feel like me, like exercising just isn't possible right now because "things are too busy" always remember that you can make it work . . . if you want to.  I liked to use the "too busy" excuse all the time.  Saying that I was "worn out" and "exhausted."  However, now that I make the time to exercise I find myself more energized and more ready and able to tackle the day ahead of me!

Like the photo says, it doesn't matter whether it is a 14 minute mile or a 7 minute mile.  It is still a mile.

The First Story of Temptation

I find it interesting when reading my Bible that Eve had the first interaction recorded in the Bible between woman and food.  Now, let me be honest with you, this is not information that I came across all on my own.  This was something that was pointed out to me through Made to Crave.  When I read the story my mind can't get past why Satan tempted Eve first.  However, to think that this craving food issue has been around since the beginning is almost unreal!  When looking at the story of The Fall we cannot ignore the fact that the Serpent used food as a tool.  If the very downfall of humanity was caused when Eve surrendered to a temptation to eat something that she wasn't supposed to eat, I do think our struggles with food are important to God. (Lysa TerKeurst Made To Crave)

That temptation that Eve was facing must have been an extremely difficult one.  I am not saying that she was as tempted as I am to sit down with that Lindt chocolate bunny that is sitting on my counter.  What I am saying is that there must have been a very strong draw for her towards that food.  Satan doesn't chose what he uses to tempts us lightly.  There is reasoning behind it.  He knows what we crave, what draws us, he knows where we are weak.

So now what?  Do you find yourself less drawn to that bag of chips in the cupboard or, like me, the Lindt Chocolate Bunny on the counter?  Does it make you look at things a little differently?  It allows me to be reminded that Satan is going to hit me at my weakest points day in and day out.  Every hour of every day he will be there to draw me away from what matters most -- my relationship with God.

It is interesting when I think back on when I am tempted the most with unhealthy food choices.  It is more than likely when I am near or around something that triggers my cravings.  Fast food restaurants, snacks on the table while watching a movie, going to gatherings at friends' houses . . . these places are all open areas where I cannot hide from my temptations.

So the question arises:  what do I do?  I cannot stop going to friends' houses and I do not want to stop watching movies at home with my family.  Fast food restaurants are inevitable as they are everywhere.  So do I allow my temptations to win me over instead of filling myself up on all the wholeness and goodness that our Heavenly Father has to offer?  To I throw away everything that I have worked towards just because it is what is easiest?

God never said that things would be easy.  He never said that if we are to deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow Him that our burdens would be light.  If I want to have a closer relationship with God and if I want to stop allowing my cravings for food to draw me away from Him, then I need to plant my feet firmly in the word and know that through Him, all things are possible.

So when I go to my friends' house I will stand firm and allow myself to only eat vegetables.  When I watch movies with my family I will make healthier choices and reach for that air popped popcorn instead of those greasy, salty chips.  And Fast Food restaurants?  Well, I will do everything in my power to avoid them.  Even if it means packing a lunch from home!  If that's not possible?  Then I will make healthy choices and opt for a wrap or salad instead of hamburger and fries.

My dear friends, we are never alone when we battle with Satan.  God is always there with us and He will stand firm with us.  We only need to ask.

A Reminder About Why I Am On This Journey

This journey started off when I was reading Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst.  I have long since finished that book and placed it on my table beside my bed where it sat, buried beneath more books that I have since finished reading.  It was not forgotten, just neglected - like many other things in my life seem to have been.

Today I decided that I needed to pick up the book again.  There was this nudging feeling in my heart that I have felt many times over the last month or so.  This time, however, instead of ignoring it, I listened to it.  I am glad that I did.  I am not even done the Foreward and the book is reaching out and grabbing hold of me again.

My friends, let me tell you that this is one powerful book.  It seems like when I read it there are things that stand out to me that did not stand out to me before.  Like things are more relevant this time around then they were the last time that I read it.  Lysa has this way of drawing me in and pulling me closer towards my relationship with God.  Reminding me, ever so gently, of where I am failing and falling short.  Not to reprimand me, but rather, to gently guide me back onto the path that I was wandering very far from.

I would love to be able to write this book out word for word for you, but instead I will highly recommend that you go out and pick up a copy for yourself!  Please understand that while I use this book in relation to my food cravings, the same concepts that she speaks about can be applied to any other craving that you might have in your life.

Lysa speaks about the rich young man in Matthew 19 who comes to Jesus and says "What do I still lack?"  (Matthew 19 vs 20)  Jesus responds, "If you want to be perfect [whole], go, sell your posessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven.  Then come, follow me."  (Matthew 19 vs 21)  The rich young man goes away sad because he won't give up the one thing that consumes him.  Is this not like people today? Is this not like me?  Refusing to make healthy choices and live a healthy lifestyle so that I too can follow Him? Refusing to give up the hold that food has on me.

Lysa writes:

Jesus meant this for any of us who wallow in whatever abundance we have.  I imagine Jesus looked straight into this young man's soul and said, "I want you to give up the one thing you crave more than me.  Then come, follow me."  Suddenly, Jesus isn't just staring at the rich young man; He's also staring at me -- the inside me.  The part I can't cover up with excuses and makeup.  
"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me."  Mark 8 vs 34
It's not an invitation to drag our divided heart alongside us as we attempt to follow hard after God.
With  Jesus, if we want to gain, we must give up.
If we want to be filled, we must deny ourselves.
If we want to truly get close to God, we'll have to distance ourselves from other things.
If we want to conquer our cravings, then we'll have to redirect them to God.
God made us capable of craving so we'd have an unquenchable desire for more of Him and Him alone.

Wow!  What a true eye opener!  These words spoke straight to my soul today.  Right where I needed them to be!  Getting healthy isn't just about losing weight.  It's about recalibrating our souls so that we want to change -- spiritually, physically, and mentally!

We need to ask God to give us the desire to be more healthy.  You see, shallow desires produce shallow efforts.  We cannot do this on our own.  We need to seek out a spiritual want to that can only be provided by God himself.  We need to stop trying to do this on our own and realize that God can give us all that we lack.

I don't know about you, but that fills my heart.  God truly cares and He wants us to deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow Him and He knows that it is not something that we can do on our own.  We just simply need to ask for the empowerment.

To Exercise or Not To Exercise . . .

Have you ever had the urge to workout?  Have you ever craved push-ups or sit-ups or maybe, just maybe, lifting some weights?

If you have . . . GREAT!  If you haven't, then I feel your pain!

I never want to exercise.  Don't get me wrong.  I love how I feel afterwards and I love knowing that I have done something good for my body.

But when it comes down to it, I just don't crave exercise!  EVER!

Oh how I wish that I did though!  I know that it would be so much better for me if I did.  Yet the thought of it makes me feel exhausted before I have even started!

In order for me to exercise, I would need to get up at 5:30 a.m. to get at least 30 minutes of cardio in.  For those of you that know me on a more personal level, you will all know that I am by no means a morning person.  I love to stay up late with the quiet of the house after every one has gone to sleep.

I tried to workout today after work, but what a sad workout it was.  I pushed through and I did my 30 minutes of cardio on my bike, but it was HARD!  Definitely much harder then if I were to workout in the morning.  For some reason, despite having to wake up so early, I find my morning workouts much easier to get through then I do after a hard day of work.

It is just that early morning factor that I am having an extremely hard time getting used to.  I like to think that my husband is right when he says that it will get easier over time.  At least one can hope that it will right?  I am so thankful that there is a nice, hot cup of coffee waiting for me once it is all said and done!

I just want to be one who craves exercise instead of craving food.  I know that it is possible to get to that point, but I question how long it takes for someone to get there.

I know that it takes time to make something a habit, but is exercising something that just becomes a habit or are we truly capable of craving our workout time?

Tonight I shall go to bed with the satisfaction that I have started this week off right . . . .and maybe some muscle rub for my tired and sore legs!

Weigh Scale: Friend or Foe

So I have been trying to do my best to not weigh myself every single morning.  I have this bad habit of stepping on the weigh scale every single morning to see if maybe, just maybe, the numbers will be different then the day before.

It can be quite depressing when you step on the scale knowing that you have worked so hard and have prayed through each and every single craving and have made healthy choices, only to see the numbers staying the same or even higher then the day before.

To me, it is like a failing grade on a report card or receiving bad news from a close friend.  It is devastating and hard to overcome.

I find some days that after standing on the scale I am totally and utterly defeated.  Feeling like "why should I continue if I am not going to see any results?"

The purpose of my journey was not to become a smaller size or to even lose weight, but I must admit, it would be an added bonus, that's for sure!

I think that when we get into these situations and we have these feelings we need to step back and re-evaluate our circumstances.  Did we make healthy choices for the day/week?  Did we give in to our temptations?  Did we truly try to break down our idols toward food by bringing our temptations or "wants" before God?  Do we feel better then we did before in terms of having more energy?  Did we truly do the best that we could?

I know for me, when I step on that scale and so no change in the numbers or no definite change in my waist line I want to just throw in the towel and say FORGET IT!  I am learning, though, that there are many more things I need to consider before I just give it all up.

This is a journey that I will be on for the rest of my life.  Thankfully I have a Heavenly Father who is walking with me every step of the way.

So tomorrow I vow to make a chance.  No more stepping on the scale every single morning.  Monday will be my weigh in days from now on and just maybe I will see a change in those numbers!  And if I don't see a change, at least I will know that I was making steps to break down this idol forever.