Beautiful Blooms Require Work

Growing up my Mom had the most beautiful gardens.  She still does.  She cares for them in a meticulous manner.  She weeds them and ensures that no plant is chocking the life out of another plant.  She waters them and provides them with the necessary nutrients that they need to grow to their full potential.

My Mom really enjoys gardening.  She knows what it takes to make a garden grow.

I, on the other hand, would LOVE to have a beautiful garden with beautiful flowers blooming but I want nothing to do with the work involved in taking care of it.  The thought of being outdoors weeding and pruning and cutting and digging is not my idea of fun.

As Lysa TerKeurst says, "I want the flowers but not the work.  Isn't that the way it is with many things in life -- we want the results but have no desire to put in the work required?"  (Made to Crave pg. 35).

Now take a look at how you care for yourself.  We wash ourselves to ensure that we are clean on the outside.  Some times we even take special care in how we style our hair and we may even put on some makeup.  A splash of perfume and something nice to wear and we are ready to face the day.

However, what are you putting into your body to care for it?

Just like a gardener wouldn't feed their plants something that would potentially harm them, we too need to be aware of the "deadly" foods that we are putting into our bodies.

We need to be willing to do the work in order to cultivate a healthier version of ourselves.

I am sure that we all wish that we could snap our fingers and voila!  A smarter, better, healthier version of ourselves would appear.  However, we all know that it is something only possible in our dreams.

Besides, if we could do that, then what would become of our relationship with God that we have been so strongly working towards?  We may be a physically healthier version of ourselves but we would not be a spiritually healthier version of ourselves.

This journey is going to take everything you can put into it and then some.  At times it may even require your blood, sweat and tears.  But keep your eyes fixed on the destination that you are working towards.

I cannot say how long this journey is going to take you because for each person it is different.  I have been on this journey for almost 4 years and with each day I grow healthier both physically and spiritually.  I have had my set backs.  I have shed many tears and yes, there was even some blood involved.  However, I can see my destination and I know that I will be a much stronger person once I get there.

Food Diary: Friend or Foe?

Do you keep a Food Diary.  You know, that little book that you write down every little morsel of food that goes into your mouth? 

Okay, I will admit, it can be extremely daunting and difficult and horribly old fashioned, but you would be surprised how many extra little details you miss when you try and calculate everything at the end of the day.

A Food Diary can be a great way to help you stay on track in your journey and can also help you to see when, in your life, you are more susceptible to snacking on foods that we know we will feel guilty about later.

Earlier today I posted this question on my Facebook Page.  Mothers consume an extra 73,043 calories a year by doing this . . . . 


The answer?  Stealing food from their kids.

Incredible isn't it?  Without thought we are allowing ourselves to fall prey to the one thing we are trying so hard to prevent.

I know that I am guilty of this and I am trying so hard to not do it.  Regardless of how much my mouth is watering when I see those delicious and delectable Teddy Graham crackers on the table!

Now, a Food Diary is going to be of no value to you if you cannot be honest.  That means, regardless of whether or not you had a bowl of ice cream at 9:00 a.m., you need to write it down.  That way, when you look back on it you will be able to see why you are not as far along in your journey as you were hoping or if your eating patterns reflect significant events in your life.

So what are some benefits of keeping a Food Diary?  Well, here are a few for you:

• Accountability - have your partner or a friend look at your Food Diary with you at the end of the week to see where you could have been more faithful in your journey.  
• Increases Awareness - you are able to more readily see where those extra calories are coming from
• Calorie Awareness - a Food Diary might help you realize that you are eating too many calories at one meal and will help you see where you can shed some calories and more strategically place them throughout your day.
• Proper Eating - a Food Diary will help you realize if you are eating too much of one food group and not enough from another food group.  It will also help you realize if you are eating enough fruits and vegetables.
• Portion Sizes - a Food Diary can also help you see if you are eating proper portion sizes in your meals.  Not sure what proper portion sizes are?  Check Here!

Those are some pretty big benefits!

When I started off on my journey I kept a Food Diary occasionally.  I will admit, I was not always the most faithful at writing in it daily but when I did, it most definitely helped me see where I was going wrong and what I needed to change.  Plus, my husband would look at it which helped to keep me more accountable.

My biggest pointer to keeping a Food Diary would be to write down what you are going to eat the day before.  That way, you can just follow it without having to sit and think and ponder throughout your day.  However, make sure that if you do eat something that was not previously written down that you include it in, maybe in a different colour, so that you can see where you may need to make changes (for example:  you may need to add in more protein throughout your day to help curb your cravings for snacks).

Here are 5 tips from WebMD to help you keep your Food Diary:

• Write as you go.  Don't wait until the end of the day to record what you ate and drank.  "We recommend they write down as soon as they can after they eat," says Victor Stevens, PhD.
• Focus on portion size.  Practice at home with measuring cups, measuring spoons, or food scales.  And be aware that people tend to underestimate how much food they're served.
• Use whatever type of Food Diary that works for you.  It doesn't matter whether you use scrap paper, a personal digital assistant (PDA), or a notebook.  What matters is that you use it.
• Don't skip your indulgent days.  "We encourage people to keep records especially on days when they're tempted to eat," says Stevens.  "What gets measured tends to get changed."
• Cook at home.  You'll have more control over what you consume, and you know what that food contains, and how much of it you're eating.  That makes for a more detailed entry in your food diary.

Another important thing to consider when you are keeping your Food Diary, says Julian Hooks from Review that Diet, is what you were doing while you were eating.  He lists 4 important questions to ask yourself:

1. Did you eat in front of the TV?
2. Were you snacking while preparing a meal or cleaning up afterwards?
3. Do you eat while doing other tasks like reading or working?
4. Do you frequently eat as a social activity?

"These are most often times that we eat without even realizing it," he says.  "And more importantly, eating while we are not even hungry."

So if a Food Diary is something that you feel will work for you then I encourage you to start one today!!!  It may be another step in your journey to help you realize your cravings towards food and turn them into cravings towards God!

If you require a template to follow for your Food Diary, consider this one from Review that Diet.

I'll Praise You With The Dance!

Dear Friends, today I want to dance!

The sun is shining, the air is cool, and the skies are blue!  My heart and my soul are filled in so many unbelievable ways!

I can feel God working in my life as my heart becomes less troubled and begins to feel more at ease.

Oh how I want to kick up my feet and dance for Jesus!

God has been making my heart and my spirit joyful in a time when I feel like I could be discouraged and downcast.  Life seems to have been filled with many trials and tribulations lately but through God's grace I am managing to over come them.

Do you find that when things get tough and unexpected situations arise it is much easier to turn away from the journey and turn to what we think gives us comfort?  Do you find that the temptation to turn to that pint of ice cream or chocolate bar bears down on you stronger than before?

It does for me.

It is like every fiber in my being, everything part of me is drawn to those things that I know will only leave me with an empty feeling of satisfaction and an extreme amount of guilt.  I find myself taking steps towards the cupboard or the fridge where the the snacks are "hiding" only to snap back to reality and turn in the opposite direction.

Oh how easy it is, dear friends, to fall on our knees before God and pray when things in our life are going as expected!  Yet how easy it is for us to turn away from the great comforter and deliverer when we feel like we have been handed the short end of the stick.

Dear Friends, may I continue to encourage you to press on!  Continue to break down the mountain of bricks of temptations and cravings and turn them into a pathway of prayer!  Your rewards will be great!

My Knight In Shining Armor

I have been busy reading Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst again as I find myself having lots and lots of downtime due to my knee issues.

I came across the following quote and was amazed at how much it resonated deep within me (yet again!):

But I did need to make changes.  I knew it.  Because this wasn't really about the scale or what clothing size I was; it was this battle that raged in my heart.  (Lysa TerKeurst, Made to Crave, pg. 28)

Dear Friends, this battle has been raging strong lately in my heart.  Not being able to be physically active has left me with this sort of empty feeling.

I know that I have not been faithful in my journey as of late.  I know that I have allowed myself to occasionally turn to food before I have turned to God.

Let me be clear, it is not like I have forgotten my journey.  That is always at the forefront of my mind.  However, I realize that I am merely human and that I do slip up from time to time.

Does this excuse it?  Definitely NOT!  However, it most certainly helps me learn from it.

Lysa TerKeurst refers to her battle as a mountain.  As she continues to bring her battles and struggles with food to God and turn to Him, she removes bricks from her mountain and turns it into a pathway to prayer.

This does not mean that we will not struggle!

However, it gives us faith to know that the more we continue to press on in our journey to become women who crave God and NOT food that we are building our pathway to a greater and deeper relationship with our Heavenly Father.

I know that this post has taken a long time to be written.  I started writing and then would delete it.  Started and then delete.  Time and time again I have been trying to find the right words to write down.

My struggle runs deep . . . daily.  The more I find circumstances pressing in on me the more I find it increasingly harder to turn and give all that I have and all that I am to our God.

Dear Friends, if you are struggling please know that I lift you up daily in constant prayer.  You are not alone in this journey.

I know that I am comforted in the fact that God is carrying me in his arms as I write this.  I would be so lost if I did not have the love of our Heavenly Father and the faith to know that He will continue to wage war for me in my battles.

He is my knight in shining armor!  Riding forth on his valiant steed with sword raised and shield readied to fight for me.

How comforting!

We serve a great and glorious king and I am reminded of this daily.  My prayer is that you, too, will know just how mighty and powerful and great of a God we serve and that you will learn to pour all that you have and all that you are into an everlasting and deep relationship with Him.

Tired of Feeling Guilty

Eating Too Much

It started as a child.  I would sneak snacks out of my parents cupboard all the time.  I can even recall at one point, my Dad found an empty chip bag sandwiched between the couch cushions in the basement.

Food guilt.

Okay, maybe when I was younger it wasn't so much feeling guilty about what I ate but rather feeling guilty that I got caught having things I knew I wasn't supposed to be eating without asking.

Now, as an adult, I find myself feeling guilty when I eat things that I know are not constructive towards my healthy eating journey and towards my journey of craving God more than I crave food.

Have you experienced it?  That gnawing sense of guilt that we feel after we have reached for that tub of ice cream after the end of a stressful day?  Or after you have sat and watched a movie and, without even realizing it, have polished off an entire bag of chips?

Do you ever wonder what it is that is making you feel that way?

According to Well and Good NYC's article When Food Makes You Feel Bad About Yourself, "post-dining guilt can be seriously damaging to your psyche."

I agree.  However, not for the same reasoning that the article does.

I think that the guilt we are facing after we binge eat or make unhealthy food choices comes from within our heart.  It is the guilt that we feel when we realize that we have turned to food instead of turning to God when we have had a bad or stressful day.

We have to consider what it is that causes us to binge eat or make unhealthy food choices to begin with.

When it comes to "dieting" most of us deny our bodies things that it actually needs.  By doing this, we in turn start to turn to "pleasure foods" or foods that we know are not what our bodies need but rather what our body craves.  This usually relates to sugary goodies.

It is these foods that make us feel less than satisfied and in turn, make us feel guilty about ourselves.

So what do we do?  How do we balance out eating sensibly and healthy and not giving into our cravings?

First, and most important, is to pray.  We need to remember that none of this would be possible without God.  I know that I mention this each time I write.  However, it truly has been the only thing that has kept me going lately.  Without God I would have given up this journey a long time ago and I would not be where I am now.

Secondly, we need to listen to our bodies.  This may mean allowing yourself to have a tiny treat every once in awhile.  If this is what you need in order to refrain from binge eating and feeling guilty about your choices then go ahead!  What works for one person with respect to their journey will not always work for you!

Lastly, turn to friends and family who can help you continue with your journey.  Have an accountability partner; someone that you can talk to at the end of each week about how things have been going and the choices that you have made.

And don't be afraid to have that piece of chocolate at your next family function.  We don't need to be ashamed of having a treat every now and then.  We are, after all, allowed to treat ourselves occasionally too!

Dear friends, I urge you to bring all of your struggles before God when it comes to your journey to crave Him more.  If you can feel the stress rising and know that this is a trigger to your unhealthy eating habits, come before God on bended knee and lay it all before the cross.  You may just find yourself feeling satisfied without having to reach for that tub of Chocolate Fudge Crackle Ice Cream.

Power to Resist Temptations

Wouldn't it be nice if all of our temptations were as easily visible as this?

It would make things so much easier wouldn't it?

I can see it now.  Sitting on the couch watching a movie and this big orange fuzzy monster comes walking in with chips and popcorn.  How much easier it would be for me to say no to that!

Yet our temptations are not as easily visible to us or to others.

Earlier I wrote a post titled Turning Your Cravings into Blessings.  Here I urged you to do battle against your temptations with scripture and prayer.  

Some of you have expressed how difficult it is to fight off your temptations.  I can definitely relate to this!  Temptations for food have a way of getting under our skin, into our entire being!  We can taste them, see them, touch them . . . . and it breaks us.

Temptations appear in many forms for many different people.  Most of you that read my blog struggle with the same temptations towards foods that I do.

We are bombarded daily by ads in magazines, commercials on the television, pictures that we see on the internet.  All of these images ignite in us a desire, a craving, to consume foods that we know will leave us with a deep sense of dread and guilt if we allow ourselves to indulge.

It consumes us.  

Yet we have the power within us to fight off these temptations.  We just may not know it yet.

When we turn to God in our deepest time of craving and wanting we are slowly retraining our minds to crave a higher power than that of food.  When we take the time to fervently ask God to help us break down the hold that temptations have on us we are striving to deepen our relationship with the One we should crave daily.

God provides us with the tools we need to overcome our temptations if we merely ask Him for them.

Don't get me wrong, dear friends.  I know that we think it cannot be as simple as that.  I have found myself in my room, curled up on my bed, tears streaming down my face as I fight off the urge to binge on foods that I know will leave me with an even deeper emptiness than before.  

If we seek out God during our times of despair He will answer us.  

We are designed, made, fashioned, created to crave.  Yet not what our body desires but what our heart and soul desire.  A true, deep, desire for a relationship with God.  

Here are some Healthy Eating Go-To Scripts from Lysa TerKeurst.  Dear friends, when you find yourself reaching for those irresistible temptations, turn to the One who can give you the strength to move past them.  Read the passages provided, pray, cry if you need to.  Know that this is not a battle that you need to face on your own.  We have a Creator who wants to do battle for us.

My favourite scripture passages to help resist temptation is:

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind.  And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.  1 Corinthians 10 vs 13

"He will provide a way out so that you can endure it."  Dear friends, this brings me comfort.  To know that if I ask, He will provide me with a way out so that I can endure it.

You are not alone.  You are walking with your Heavenly Father.  Call out to Him in your times of struggle and He will help you find rest.

Grocery Store - Friend or Foe?

The end of the week is drawing near which means a much needed trip to our local grocery store.

This is a good and a bad thing for me.

We need groceries to be able to eat and with a fridge full of fresh fruits and vegetables, eating healthy and making smarter choices is much easier.

The bad thing?  All the unhealthy choices that stare me straight in the face as I walk through the aisles.

It is so hard to turn away from cookies, cakes, ice cream, popsicles, chocolate, gummies . . . you name it, as you walk past them in the grocery store.

Have you ever noticed that no matter how hard you try these things always seem to creep up on you?

I purposely try not to take my children with me when I do my groceries because it is so much easier to avoid temptations when your children are not there asking for this, that and the next thing.

Yet it can also be a dangerous place to be in when you are trying to eat right and make those choices that you know are better for you.

I have caught myself before, standing in front of the Oreo cookies and I do believe that I had a line of drool escaping from my lips!

It has been said that the outer perimeter of your local grocery store is the healthiest place to shop.  So, you should purchase as much of your groceries from this section as you can.  It is here where you will find your fruits, vegetables, breads, meats, cheese, and dairy.

However, nestled right in there, snug beside the fruits and the vegetables are these glorious looking clear bins filled with bright coloured, sugar coated, some salty and some sweet, delicious, delectable candy.

Why in the world would a store designer think that this would be a great place to put candy bins!  I mean, here I am walking through the grocery store being proud of all the healthy foods that I am placing in my shopping cart, giving myself a great pat on the back that so far, I have been able to resist temptations.

And then it hits me . . . smack in the face.

I do my best to put my blinders up.  I walk with my head down (although I do not advise this if your grocery store is busy) and try to rush past the bins swallowing as much as I can since my mouth has begun to water at the sight of all the sugary, seemingly divine candy.

Apparently, dear friends, these temptations are hard to resist regardless of how far along in our journey we are.

It is important to remember that, despite continuously having these feelings, it is not a sign that you are failing.

I know that I have had that thought time and again.  How can I be at this point in my journey and still have these types of feelings towards foods that I know I should not have?!?!

The answer is not an easy one.  I honestly cannot say why my body reacts the way that it does towards sugar, chocolate, chips . . . anything that it seems to know that it cannot have.

Just typing this post to you all and my mouth is watering.

What I do know is that I have a Heavenly Father who wants to do battle for me.  I have a God who wants to stand beside me and help me overcome my temptations.

And lastly, I have a heart that longs to desire a deeper, more intimate relationship with my Creator.

Even if it means that I sit here eating cucumber instead of a bowl of chips.

Our Bodies Are a Living Temple

When I began this journey almost 3 years ago now, I never really took time to consider the fact that what I had been doing to my body was not only unhealthy but also against what scripture teaches us about our bodies.

As I stated in my post about Focusing on Yourself, we need to remind ourselves that our bodies are a temple of the Holy Spirit.  (1 Corinthians 6 vv 19 to 20)

In the Old Testament, the temple was a place of worship.  Great pride was taken in the design of it and it was crafted with care.  It took many years for it to be built.  1 Kings 6 vs 38 states that Solomon spent 7 years building the temple.  They cut and prepared timber and stone for it's crafting (1 Kings 5 vs 18).

7 years.  That is a great deal of time.  It is not like he just rushed through it and had it built in a year or even 2.  Solomon spent 7 years building the temple.

And rightfully he should have.

The temple was the place where people went to worship God.  It was a holy and glorified place.

It brings my thoughts back around to how I was treating my "temple of the Holy Spirit."  How I was neglecting it and pouring unhealthy things into it.

These days I have begun thinking of my body as something that needs to be filled up with spiritual nourishment. In order for me to take care of my body, I need to fill myself up with the word of God and allow him to work in me.

My body belongs entirely to God.  I am not free to do with it as I will.  I need to follow his teachings and I need allow myself to listen to Him and to lead where He has called me.

I guess another way to think of it is when you borrow something from your friend.  It is not something that belongs to us so we take care not to damage it or ruin it.

Why then, dear friends, can we not treat our bodies the same way?

I know that I was not purposefully treating my body poorly.  I was not intentionally treating this body that I had been given with disrespect.

In fact, I didn't even know that I was doing it!

I don't know about you, but when I see that my body is a "temple of the Holy Spirit" and that it needs to be my place of worship to God, I find myself thinking more about what I put into it then I did before.

Dear friends, I encourage you all to think of your bodies as the living temples that they were designed by God to be.  Raise your hands in worship to Him and glorify Him in your daily living.

Call on Him when you need Him and fill yourself up with spiritual nourishment.  It will only help you that much more on your own personal journey with your Heavenly Father.


"Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God."  (2 Corinthians 7 vs 1)

The Dreaded Bathing Suit

Bathing Suit Season.

Dreaded, horrible, scary . . . . bathing suit season.

At least, that is how I used to feel.

The thought of putting on a bathing suit terrified me.  How could I allow people to see stretch marks, cellulite, jiggly legs and dare I mention my tummy!  Oh man!  That fact alone would have me run screaming from the nearest beach or pool!

I have never been a fan of "bearing all" in order to go swimming.  One pieces wouldn't do it for me as it still could not hide the rolls.  Tankinis were always a no go because my tummy would hang out the bottom.  I hated the idea of wearing a t-shirt over my bathing suit because it just made me feel like a beached whale!

A lot of that has changed in the last year though.  I have started to look at myself in a different light and have started realizing that I have a lot more to live for than caring what other people think about the way that I look in a bathing suit.

I want to be able to enjoy the time at the beach or the pool with my children.  I don't want to be chained down by my appearance or by those evil and nasty thoughts that swirl through my mind.

I didn't like feeling embarrassed or feeling fat.  I didn't want to be a woman that people went home and talked about amongst their friends.

Have you ever felt that way?  It is such a gut wrenching feeling.  It brings you down and draws you into this deep dark place.

I really disliked being in that state of mind.

Yet here I sit, 8 pounds away from my goal and I am an extremely happy person.  Not only because of the fact that I have lost weight (I mean, that is an occasion in and of itself to be happy about it) but because I am finally starting to feel good in my body.  I still feel like I have a long ways to go.  Not just weight wise, but personal appreciation wise.

I have found it interesting to learn that despite not being able to exercise these last few weeks (and still not being able to exercise as my knee is still slightly swollen and agitated) that I am still losing weight.  It goes to show that weight loss is not just about how much you exercise, but also about diet or how and what you eat.

Don't get me wrong.  Exercise is IMPORTANT!  I will never deny or doubt that.  It is great for raising your endorphins and making you feel better about yourself.  It has a way of lifting moods and raising spirits and helping you to get through your day or work out stress in a healthy manner.  Not to mention all the other health benefits that are associated with exercise.

However, no amount of exercise is going to do us any good if we continue to eat in the same manner that we had been before.  Not amount of exercise can justify that donut you ate the other day or that bowl of chips you ate on Saturday.

Losing weight is 80% diet and 20% exercise.  I always thought that I needed to work my pretty little tail off in order to lose weight.  The downside was that I was not really paying attention to what I was eating or how much I was eating.  I may have seen muscle developing but the numbers on the scale were stuck.

Since I have started with the South Beach Diet and since having this knee injury I am beginning to realize more and more the truth to all of this.  Not to mention the power of prayer!  Every day I am so thankful for this new found relationship with God that I have been given.

Dear Friends, might I remind you, at the end of all, to not get discouraged!  Keep at it and know that there are many out there who are cheering you on!  Me included!!!!!

Oh!  That dreaded bathing suit?  We are slowly learning to become friends.  I haven't quite ventured out too far with it yet, but we are getting there.  Who knows, maybe by the end of the summer I will have made it to the public beach without hesitation and without fear!

I Long to be Closer

It would be so nice to be able to sit down and write to you all and say that I was faithful to my eating plans this week and not once did I waiver off of my diet.

That would be WAY off the mark!

There will be no denial here!  I will be honest with each and everyone of you in hopes that you too will be honest with yourself and with others that are holding you accountable.

Yet even though I wavered, I can be honest and say that may waivers were more like a slip off the road and not a huge tumble!  For this I will be joyful and I will give THANKS!

As some of you may know, I have been doing the South Beach Diet and it has been providing me with some good results.  Okay, I will be honest, AMAZING results considering the 21 days that I had gone without even dropping a single, lonely, solitary pound!

Unfortunately I hit a rough patch about mid week though.  I am not entirely sure what was causing it nor am I convinced that it wasn't a tactic from Satan trying to deter me from everything that I had been and WILL continue to do.

I just had one of those days where, from the moment I stepped out of bed, my heart was heavy and burdened. I am an extreme emotional eater and find that in cases like that I turn almost automatically towards food.  It is like a place of solitude for me.  Well, at least it had been before.

I found that this time, though, I spent in prayer before God.  I asked for many things that day:  clarity, understanding, power, courage and even satisfaction.

I cried . . . I pleaded . . . I begged.

And God provided.  Those temptations to eat were replaced with a heart that was earnestly seeking to Praise Him.  The temptations to binge on foods that I know I would regret in the morning were filled with a longing to want to be closer to my Heavenly Father.

I will admit that I had a tiny, little handful of Teddy Grahams.  I know that it probably was not the best snack to choose.  However, in the end I did not sit with an entire bag of Teddy Grahams in front of me and I most certainly did not go back for a second handful.

So for that I am joyful!

It has been and will continue to be a long, never ending journey for me.  It is not like I am going to reach what I hope will be my goal weight and say that I will no longer battle with food addictions and temptations. Yet I know that through our Heavenly Father, he will give me the strength that I need to continue on.  It is only through HIM that all of this has been possible.

As I write to you today, I am currently down 6 lbs and I am that much closer to my goal of being a healthier version of me.  I hope that God will continue to grant me a life much bigger than anything I could have ever anticipated.  It is my hope that "HE is not finished with me yet!"

What are some of your successes this week?  I would absolutely love to hear them!

Discouragement In The Form of a Number

There are mornings where I wake up and just feel completely and utterly defeated.  I know that this journey is not only about the numbers on the scale.  I know that it is not only about how I look outside, but also about how I feel inside.  I know that it is about my walk with God and not just about my weight loss journey.

Unfortunately, though, I still want the scale to reflect the work and the effort that I have been putting into all of this.

I find that as I work hard to achieve a healthy weight and a healthy lifestyle there are many factors that get in the way of that.  You see, I am someone who becomes easily discouraged with myself.  I beat myself down for eating the wrong things and I become increasingly frustrated with the weigh scale.

This morning, as I stepped on the scale I was utterly shocked to see the numbers GO UP!  It was increasingly frustrating and all I wanted to do was crawl back into bed and cry.  It is discouraging to see numbers rise when you want them to fall.

Since going back to bed was not an option I did the only other thing that I could think of to do.  I prayed.

This time around I don't want to give up.  I don't want to become so discouraged that I resort back to binge eating and filling myself up with unhealthy choices.  This time around I want to fill myself up with the Holy Spirit and know that God is in control.

So today I will turn to God rather then turn inwards.  Today I will make the choice to continue to let God be my guide and know that His hands are holding me as I take this journey.  Today I will strive to crave God more than the unhealthy choices that will inevitably face me throughout the day.

Will you make that choice too?  Will you tell yourself that today is the day that I put God first?  Will you remind yourself that even though things can become discouraging and frustrating, God wants you to bring your struggles to Him, on bended knee, in earnest prayer?

I WILL!

Let The Journey Begin!

Weight has always been a constant struggle since the birth of my two beautiful daughters.  Throughout pregnancy I gained a lot of weight.  We are talking close to 80 pounds from the start of my pregnancy to the end.  I have struggled with the realization that I am not just overweight, but rather, obese.  Hearing that sends shudders through my body.

However, this journey is not about what the numbers read on the scale.  It is not about reaching the "lowest weight possible" or even about becoming a size 6.  This journey is about realizing that I am more than just those numbers on the scale.  That my worth is not made up by the size of my pants.  This journey is coming to the realization that I am made for more than this.

I will admit, I am a weigh scale junkie.  I can be found each morning stepping on the scale hoping beyond hope that somehow those numbers will be lower than the morning before.  I stand tall and proud only to be defeated each and every single day.  I step off the scale only to step back on hoping that maybe, just maybe, it was wrong the first time around.  No such luck.  I am Defeated.

Starting your day off in this manner is extremely difficult.  Sometimes I feel like I have to scrape myself off of the bathroom floor just so that I can pull myself together enough to get through the day.  This feeling?  It sucks.

Food is a constant battle for me.  Unhealthy choices face me each and every single day.  One would think that  working in the home would make it easy to make smart, healthy choices.  Well, it's not easy.  That ice cream in the freezer?  It is screaming my name.  Those Crispers in the cupboard?  They taunt me each and every time I walk past them.

I know what you're thinking: "Are you kidding me?"  The truth is, food has become like an addiction to me.  I eat when I am sad, I eat when I'm bored, I eat when I am happy, I eat . . . . Well, you get the idea.  I honestly can find almost any reason to eat.  After I satisfy my cravings I come up with a list of excuses to make it all seem okay: "I'll start making healthier choices tomorrow;" "just a little indulgence doesn't hurt;" "I deserve a little treat."

I'm tired of making excuses.  I am tired of waking up in the morning thinking "today is going to be a new day!" only to fall short of my ambitions and goals once again.  I am tired of letting food rule my life.

I have started reading the book Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst.  For those of you who are in a situation similar to me or feel the way I do, may I strongly recommend this book.  Lysa is speaking directly to me as I read each page.  She is a Christian author who hits the nail on the head when she says that we need to replace our food cravings with cravings for God.

So here I start my journey.  I am hoping that you will come along with me.  I will hold you accountable if you will do the same for me.

Craving isn't a bad thing; as long as what you are craving is a desire to be closer to God, not that Rocky Road Ice Cream sitting in your freezer.