Let The Journey Begin!

Weight has always been a constant struggle since the birth of my two beautiful daughters.  Throughout pregnancy I gained a lot of weight.  We are talking close to 80 pounds from the start of my pregnancy to the end.  I have struggled with the realization that I am not just overweight, but rather, obese.  Hearing that sends shudders through my body.

However, this journey is not about what the numbers read on the scale.  It is not about reaching the "lowest weight possible" or even about becoming a size 6.  This journey is about realizing that I am more than just those numbers on the scale.  That my worth is not made up by the size of my pants.  This journey is coming to the realization that I am made for more than this.

I will admit, I am a weigh scale junkie.  I can be found each morning stepping on the scale hoping beyond hope that somehow those numbers will be lower than the morning before.  I stand tall and proud only to be defeated each and every single day.  I step off the scale only to step back on hoping that maybe, just maybe, it was wrong the first time around.  No such luck.  I am Defeated.

Starting your day off in this manner is extremely difficult.  Sometimes I feel like I have to scrape myself off of the bathroom floor just so that I can pull myself together enough to get through the day.  This feeling?  It sucks.

Food is a constant battle for me.  Unhealthy choices face me each and every single day.  One would think that  working in the home would make it easy to make smart, healthy choices.  Well, it's not easy.  That ice cream in the freezer?  It is screaming my name.  Those Crispers in the cupboard?  They taunt me each and every time I walk past them.

I know what you're thinking: "Are you kidding me?"  The truth is, food has become like an addiction to me.  I eat when I am sad, I eat when I'm bored, I eat when I am happy, I eat . . . . Well, you get the idea.  I honestly can find almost any reason to eat.  After I satisfy my cravings I come up with a list of excuses to make it all seem okay: "I'll start making healthier choices tomorrow;" "just a little indulgence doesn't hurt;" "I deserve a little treat."

I'm tired of making excuses.  I am tired of waking up in the morning thinking "today is going to be a new day!" only to fall short of my ambitions and goals once again.  I am tired of letting food rule my life.

I have started reading the book Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst.  For those of you who are in a situation similar to me or feel the way I do, may I strongly recommend this book.  Lysa is speaking directly to me as I read each page.  She is a Christian author who hits the nail on the head when she says that we need to replace our food cravings with cravings for God.

So here I start my journey.  I am hoping that you will come along with me.  I will hold you accountable if you will do the same for me.

Craving isn't a bad thing; as long as what you are craving is a desire to be closer to God, not that Rocky Road Ice Cream sitting in your freezer.