Beautiful Blooms Require Work

Growing up my Mom had the most beautiful gardens.  She still does.  She cares for them in a meticulous manner.  She weeds them and ensures that no plant is chocking the life out of another plant.  She waters them and provides them with the necessary nutrients that they need to grow to their full potential.

My Mom really enjoys gardening.  She knows what it takes to make a garden grow.

I, on the other hand, would LOVE to have a beautiful garden with beautiful flowers blooming but I want nothing to do with the work involved in taking care of it.  The thought of being outdoors weeding and pruning and cutting and digging is not my idea of fun.

As Lysa TerKeurst says, "I want the flowers but not the work.  Isn't that the way it is with many things in life -- we want the results but have no desire to put in the work required?"  (Made to Crave pg. 35).

Now take a look at how you care for yourself.  We wash ourselves to ensure that we are clean on the outside.  Some times we even take special care in how we style our hair and we may even put on some makeup.  A splash of perfume and something nice to wear and we are ready to face the day.

However, what are you putting into your body to care for it?

Just like a gardener wouldn't feed their plants something that would potentially harm them, we too need to be aware of the "deadly" foods that we are putting into our bodies.

We need to be willing to do the work in order to cultivate a healthier version of ourselves.

I am sure that we all wish that we could snap our fingers and voila!  A smarter, better, healthier version of ourselves would appear.  However, we all know that it is something only possible in our dreams.

Besides, if we could do that, then what would become of our relationship with God that we have been so strongly working towards?  We may be a physically healthier version of ourselves but we would not be a spiritually healthier version of ourselves.

This journey is going to take everything you can put into it and then some.  At times it may even require your blood, sweat and tears.  But keep your eyes fixed on the destination that you are working towards.

I cannot say how long this journey is going to take you because for each person it is different.  I have been on this journey for almost 4 years and with each day I grow healthier both physically and spiritually.  I have had my set backs.  I have shed many tears and yes, there was even some blood involved.  However, I can see my destination and I know that I will be a much stronger person once I get there.

Food Diary: Friend or Foe?

Do you keep a Food Diary.  You know, that little book that you write down every little morsel of food that goes into your mouth? 

Okay, I will admit, it can be extremely daunting and difficult and horribly old fashioned, but you would be surprised how many extra little details you miss when you try and calculate everything at the end of the day.

A Food Diary can be a great way to help you stay on track in your journey and can also help you to see when, in your life, you are more susceptible to snacking on foods that we know we will feel guilty about later.

Earlier today I posted this question on my Facebook Page.  Mothers consume an extra 73,043 calories a year by doing this . . . . 


The answer?  Stealing food from their kids.

Incredible isn't it?  Without thought we are allowing ourselves to fall prey to the one thing we are trying so hard to prevent.

I know that I am guilty of this and I am trying so hard to not do it.  Regardless of how much my mouth is watering when I see those delicious and delectable Teddy Graham crackers on the table!

Now, a Food Diary is going to be of no value to you if you cannot be honest.  That means, regardless of whether or not you had a bowl of ice cream at 9:00 a.m., you need to write it down.  That way, when you look back on it you will be able to see why you are not as far along in your journey as you were hoping or if your eating patterns reflect significant events in your life.

So what are some benefits of keeping a Food Diary?  Well, here are a few for you:

• Accountability - have your partner or a friend look at your Food Diary with you at the end of the week to see where you could have been more faithful in your journey.  
• Increases Awareness - you are able to more readily see where those extra calories are coming from
• Calorie Awareness - a Food Diary might help you realize that you are eating too many calories at one meal and will help you see where you can shed some calories and more strategically place them throughout your day.
• Proper Eating - a Food Diary will help you realize if you are eating too much of one food group and not enough from another food group.  It will also help you realize if you are eating enough fruits and vegetables.
• Portion Sizes - a Food Diary can also help you see if you are eating proper portion sizes in your meals.  Not sure what proper portion sizes are?  Check Here!

Those are some pretty big benefits!

When I started off on my journey I kept a Food Diary occasionally.  I will admit, I was not always the most faithful at writing in it daily but when I did, it most definitely helped me see where I was going wrong and what I needed to change.  Plus, my husband would look at it which helped to keep me more accountable.

My biggest pointer to keeping a Food Diary would be to write down what you are going to eat the day before.  That way, you can just follow it without having to sit and think and ponder throughout your day.  However, make sure that if you do eat something that was not previously written down that you include it in, maybe in a different colour, so that you can see where you may need to make changes (for example:  you may need to add in more protein throughout your day to help curb your cravings for snacks).

Here are 5 tips from WebMD to help you keep your Food Diary:

• Write as you go.  Don't wait until the end of the day to record what you ate and drank.  "We recommend they write down as soon as they can after they eat," says Victor Stevens, PhD.
• Focus on portion size.  Practice at home with measuring cups, measuring spoons, or food scales.  And be aware that people tend to underestimate how much food they're served.
• Use whatever type of Food Diary that works for you.  It doesn't matter whether you use scrap paper, a personal digital assistant (PDA), or a notebook.  What matters is that you use it.
• Don't skip your indulgent days.  "We encourage people to keep records especially on days when they're tempted to eat," says Stevens.  "What gets measured tends to get changed."
• Cook at home.  You'll have more control over what you consume, and you know what that food contains, and how much of it you're eating.  That makes for a more detailed entry in your food diary.

Another important thing to consider when you are keeping your Food Diary, says Julian Hooks from Review that Diet, is what you were doing while you were eating.  He lists 4 important questions to ask yourself:

1. Did you eat in front of the TV?
2. Were you snacking while preparing a meal or cleaning up afterwards?
3. Do you eat while doing other tasks like reading or working?
4. Do you frequently eat as a social activity?

"These are most often times that we eat without even realizing it," he says.  "And more importantly, eating while we are not even hungry."

So if a Food Diary is something that you feel will work for you then I encourage you to start one today!!!  It may be another step in your journey to help you realize your cravings towards food and turn them into cravings towards God!

If you require a template to follow for your Food Diary, consider this one from Review that Diet.

I'll Praise You With The Dance!

Dear Friends, today I want to dance!

The sun is shining, the air is cool, and the skies are blue!  My heart and my soul are filled in so many unbelievable ways!

I can feel God working in my life as my heart becomes less troubled and begins to feel more at ease.

Oh how I want to kick up my feet and dance for Jesus!

God has been making my heart and my spirit joyful in a time when I feel like I could be discouraged and downcast.  Life seems to have been filled with many trials and tribulations lately but through God's grace I am managing to over come them.

Do you find that when things get tough and unexpected situations arise it is much easier to turn away from the journey and turn to what we think gives us comfort?  Do you find that the temptation to turn to that pint of ice cream or chocolate bar bears down on you stronger than before?

It does for me.

It is like every fiber in my being, everything part of me is drawn to those things that I know will only leave me with an empty feeling of satisfaction and an extreme amount of guilt.  I find myself taking steps towards the cupboard or the fridge where the the snacks are "hiding" only to snap back to reality and turn in the opposite direction.

Oh how easy it is, dear friends, to fall on our knees before God and pray when things in our life are going as expected!  Yet how easy it is for us to turn away from the great comforter and deliverer when we feel like we have been handed the short end of the stick.

Dear Friends, may I continue to encourage you to press on!  Continue to break down the mountain of bricks of temptations and cravings and turn them into a pathway of prayer!  Your rewards will be great!

My Knight In Shining Armor

I have been busy reading Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst again as I find myself having lots and lots of downtime due to my knee issues.

I came across the following quote and was amazed at how much it resonated deep within me (yet again!):

But I did need to make changes.  I knew it.  Because this wasn't really about the scale or what clothing size I was; it was this battle that raged in my heart.  (Lysa TerKeurst, Made to Crave, pg. 28)

Dear Friends, this battle has been raging strong lately in my heart.  Not being able to be physically active has left me with this sort of empty feeling.

I know that I have not been faithful in my journey as of late.  I know that I have allowed myself to occasionally turn to food before I have turned to God.

Let me be clear, it is not like I have forgotten my journey.  That is always at the forefront of my mind.  However, I realize that I am merely human and that I do slip up from time to time.

Does this excuse it?  Definitely NOT!  However, it most certainly helps me learn from it.

Lysa TerKeurst refers to her battle as a mountain.  As she continues to bring her battles and struggles with food to God and turn to Him, she removes bricks from her mountain and turns it into a pathway to prayer.

This does not mean that we will not struggle!

However, it gives us faith to know that the more we continue to press on in our journey to become women who crave God and NOT food that we are building our pathway to a greater and deeper relationship with our Heavenly Father.

I know that this post has taken a long time to be written.  I started writing and then would delete it.  Started and then delete.  Time and time again I have been trying to find the right words to write down.

My struggle runs deep . . . daily.  The more I find circumstances pressing in on me the more I find it increasingly harder to turn and give all that I have and all that I am to our God.

Dear Friends, if you are struggling please know that I lift you up daily in constant prayer.  You are not alone in this journey.

I know that I am comforted in the fact that God is carrying me in his arms as I write this.  I would be so lost if I did not have the love of our Heavenly Father and the faith to know that He will continue to wage war for me in my battles.

He is my knight in shining armor!  Riding forth on his valiant steed with sword raised and shield readied to fight for me.

How comforting!

We serve a great and glorious king and I am reminded of this daily.  My prayer is that you, too, will know just how mighty and powerful and great of a God we serve and that you will learn to pour all that you have and all that you are into an everlasting and deep relationship with Him.

Power to Resist Temptations

Wouldn't it be nice if all of our temptations were as easily visible as this?

It would make things so much easier wouldn't it?

I can see it now.  Sitting on the couch watching a movie and this big orange fuzzy monster comes walking in with chips and popcorn.  How much easier it would be for me to say no to that!

Yet our temptations are not as easily visible to us or to others.

Earlier I wrote a post titled Turning Your Cravings into Blessings.  Here I urged you to do battle against your temptations with scripture and prayer.  

Some of you have expressed how difficult it is to fight off your temptations.  I can definitely relate to this!  Temptations for food have a way of getting under our skin, into our entire being!  We can taste them, see them, touch them . . . . and it breaks us.

Temptations appear in many forms for many different people.  Most of you that read my blog struggle with the same temptations towards foods that I do.

We are bombarded daily by ads in magazines, commercials on the television, pictures that we see on the internet.  All of these images ignite in us a desire, a craving, to consume foods that we know will leave us with a deep sense of dread and guilt if we allow ourselves to indulge.

It consumes us.  

Yet we have the power within us to fight off these temptations.  We just may not know it yet.

When we turn to God in our deepest time of craving and wanting we are slowly retraining our minds to crave a higher power than that of food.  When we take the time to fervently ask God to help us break down the hold that temptations have on us we are striving to deepen our relationship with the One we should crave daily.

God provides us with the tools we need to overcome our temptations if we merely ask Him for them.

Don't get me wrong, dear friends.  I know that we think it cannot be as simple as that.  I have found myself in my room, curled up on my bed, tears streaming down my face as I fight off the urge to binge on foods that I know will leave me with an even deeper emptiness than before.  

If we seek out God during our times of despair He will answer us.  

We are designed, made, fashioned, created to crave.  Yet not what our body desires but what our heart and soul desire.  A true, deep, desire for a relationship with God.  

Here are some Healthy Eating Go-To Scripts from Lysa TerKeurst.  Dear friends, when you find yourself reaching for those irresistible temptations, turn to the One who can give you the strength to move past them.  Read the passages provided, pray, cry if you need to.  Know that this is not a battle that you need to face on your own.  We have a Creator who wants to do battle for us.

My favourite scripture passages to help resist temptation is:

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind.  And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.  1 Corinthians 10 vs 13

"He will provide a way out so that you can endure it."  Dear friends, this brings me comfort.  To know that if I ask, He will provide me with a way out so that I can endure it.

You are not alone.  You are walking with your Heavenly Father.  Call out to Him in your times of struggle and He will help you find rest.

Grocery Store - Friend or Foe?

The end of the week is drawing near which means a much needed trip to our local grocery store.

This is a good and a bad thing for me.

We need groceries to be able to eat and with a fridge full of fresh fruits and vegetables, eating healthy and making smarter choices is much easier.

The bad thing?  All the unhealthy choices that stare me straight in the face as I walk through the aisles.

It is so hard to turn away from cookies, cakes, ice cream, popsicles, chocolate, gummies . . . you name it, as you walk past them in the grocery store.

Have you ever noticed that no matter how hard you try these things always seem to creep up on you?

I purposely try not to take my children with me when I do my groceries because it is so much easier to avoid temptations when your children are not there asking for this, that and the next thing.

Yet it can also be a dangerous place to be in when you are trying to eat right and make those choices that you know are better for you.

I have caught myself before, standing in front of the Oreo cookies and I do believe that I had a line of drool escaping from my lips!

It has been said that the outer perimeter of your local grocery store is the healthiest place to shop.  So, you should purchase as much of your groceries from this section as you can.  It is here where you will find your fruits, vegetables, breads, meats, cheese, and dairy.

However, nestled right in there, snug beside the fruits and the vegetables are these glorious looking clear bins filled with bright coloured, sugar coated, some salty and some sweet, delicious, delectable candy.

Why in the world would a store designer think that this would be a great place to put candy bins!  I mean, here I am walking through the grocery store being proud of all the healthy foods that I am placing in my shopping cart, giving myself a great pat on the back that so far, I have been able to resist temptations.

And then it hits me . . . smack in the face.

I do my best to put my blinders up.  I walk with my head down (although I do not advise this if your grocery store is busy) and try to rush past the bins swallowing as much as I can since my mouth has begun to water at the sight of all the sugary, seemingly divine candy.

Apparently, dear friends, these temptations are hard to resist regardless of how far along in our journey we are.

It is important to remember that, despite continuously having these feelings, it is not a sign that you are failing.

I know that I have had that thought time and again.  How can I be at this point in my journey and still have these types of feelings towards foods that I know I should not have?!?!

The answer is not an easy one.  I honestly cannot say why my body reacts the way that it does towards sugar, chocolate, chips . . . anything that it seems to know that it cannot have.

Just typing this post to you all and my mouth is watering.

What I do know is that I have a Heavenly Father who wants to do battle for me.  I have a God who wants to stand beside me and help me overcome my temptations.

And lastly, I have a heart that longs to desire a deeper, more intimate relationship with my Creator.

Even if it means that I sit here eating cucumber instead of a bowl of chips.

When The Going Gets Tough

It is okay to cry.

That is what I keep reminding myself of these days.  Crying is not a sign of weakness nor is it a sign of failure.  It is just a sign that I am physically and emotionally exhausted at the moment.

This inner battle is really waging war on every part of me these days.

Nights have been spent with very little sleep.  Days seem to go by in a blur.  Memories seem to blend one into the next.

Every morning I wake up and say:  "Dear Heavenly Father:  Please give me the strength that I need to get through this day.  Give me the power to resist temptation and the understanding to know the difference between craving food and craving you.  Allow my stomach to feel full and my heart to be empowered by your Holy Spirit and your life altering Word.  Amen"

Then I go and check my e-mail and temptation after temptation stares me in the face as I see recipes for some kind of dessert or some kind of cookie or treat.

Thankfully, God has empowered me to remain strong through those temptations.  He has given me the power to know that these temptations will only set me back in my walk from Him.

So, I quickly delete the temptations from in front of me and I turn to His Word.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith produces perseverance."  (James 1 vv 2 and 3)

"Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted."  (Hebrews 2 v 18)

"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess.  For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are -- yet he did not sin.  Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."  (Hebrews 4 vv 14 to 16)

Dear Friends, I do not know about you but how comforting it is to know that Jesus was tempted just as we are.  Yet he remained faithful to His father just like we are asked to remain faithful.  How comforting and glorious to know that we can call on Him in our time of need and he will help us through our temptations.

Oh how blessed are we to have One who intercedes on our behalf!  I take joy and comfort in knowing that I need to only ask for the power and the knowledge to fight temptation and it will be given to me.

My battle will be won.  It will not be overnight and it will not happen without work.  I will continue to seek out our Heavenly Father and I will fight back with God's word and with prayer.

Dear Friends, if you are battling temptations know that you are not alone.  Your struggle is no less signification than someone else's.  That is what makes it your struggle.  Take heart it knowing that you have a Heavenly Father that wants to do battle FOR you.

And it is okay to cry.  You are not weak.  You are strong and you are courageous and you are beautiful!

I Long to be Closer

It would be so nice to be able to sit down and write to you all and say that I was faithful to my eating plans this week and not once did I waiver off of my diet.

That would be WAY off the mark!

There will be no denial here!  I will be honest with each and everyone of you in hopes that you too will be honest with yourself and with others that are holding you accountable.

Yet even though I wavered, I can be honest and say that may waivers were more like a slip off the road and not a huge tumble!  For this I will be joyful and I will give THANKS!

As some of you may know, I have been doing the South Beach Diet and it has been providing me with some good results.  Okay, I will be honest, AMAZING results considering the 21 days that I had gone without even dropping a single, lonely, solitary pound!

Unfortunately I hit a rough patch about mid week though.  I am not entirely sure what was causing it nor am I convinced that it wasn't a tactic from Satan trying to deter me from everything that I had been and WILL continue to do.

I just had one of those days where, from the moment I stepped out of bed, my heart was heavy and burdened. I am an extreme emotional eater and find that in cases like that I turn almost automatically towards food.  It is like a place of solitude for me.  Well, at least it had been before.

I found that this time, though, I spent in prayer before God.  I asked for many things that day:  clarity, understanding, power, courage and even satisfaction.

I cried . . . I pleaded . . . I begged.

And God provided.  Those temptations to eat were replaced with a heart that was earnestly seeking to Praise Him.  The temptations to binge on foods that I know I would regret in the morning were filled with a longing to want to be closer to my Heavenly Father.

I will admit that I had a tiny, little handful of Teddy Grahams.  I know that it probably was not the best snack to choose.  However, in the end I did not sit with an entire bag of Teddy Grahams in front of me and I most certainly did not go back for a second handful.

So for that I am joyful!

It has been and will continue to be a long, never ending journey for me.  It is not like I am going to reach what I hope will be my goal weight and say that I will no longer battle with food addictions and temptations. Yet I know that through our Heavenly Father, he will give me the strength that I need to continue on.  It is only through HIM that all of this has been possible.

As I write to you today, I am currently down 6 lbs and I am that much closer to my goal of being a healthier version of me.  I hope that God will continue to grant me a life much bigger than anything I could have ever anticipated.  It is my hope that "HE is not finished with me yet!"

What are some of your successes this week?  I would absolutely love to hear them!

The First Story of Temptation

I find it interesting when reading my Bible that Eve had the first interaction recorded in the Bible between woman and food.  Now, let me be honest with you, this is not information that I came across all on my own.  This was something that was pointed out to me through Made to Crave.  When I read the story my mind can't get past why Satan tempted Eve first.  However, to think that this craving food issue has been around since the beginning is almost unreal!  When looking at the story of The Fall we cannot ignore the fact that the Serpent used food as a tool.  If the very downfall of humanity was caused when Eve surrendered to a temptation to eat something that she wasn't supposed to eat, I do think our struggles with food are important to God. (Lysa TerKeurst Made To Crave)

That temptation that Eve was facing must have been an extremely difficult one.  I am not saying that she was as tempted as I am to sit down with that Lindt chocolate bunny that is sitting on my counter.  What I am saying is that there must have been a very strong draw for her towards that food.  Satan doesn't chose what he uses to tempts us lightly.  There is reasoning behind it.  He knows what we crave, what draws us, he knows where we are weak.

So now what?  Do you find yourself less drawn to that bag of chips in the cupboard or, like me, the Lindt Chocolate Bunny on the counter?  Does it make you look at things a little differently?  It allows me to be reminded that Satan is going to hit me at my weakest points day in and day out.  Every hour of every day he will be there to draw me away from what matters most -- my relationship with God.

It is interesting when I think back on when I am tempted the most with unhealthy food choices.  It is more than likely when I am near or around something that triggers my cravings.  Fast food restaurants, snacks on the table while watching a movie, going to gatherings at friends' houses . . . these places are all open areas where I cannot hide from my temptations.

So the question arises:  what do I do?  I cannot stop going to friends' houses and I do not want to stop watching movies at home with my family.  Fast food restaurants are inevitable as they are everywhere.  So do I allow my temptations to win me over instead of filling myself up on all the wholeness and goodness that our Heavenly Father has to offer?  To I throw away everything that I have worked towards just because it is what is easiest?

God never said that things would be easy.  He never said that if we are to deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow Him that our burdens would be light.  If I want to have a closer relationship with God and if I want to stop allowing my cravings for food to draw me away from Him, then I need to plant my feet firmly in the word and know that through Him, all things are possible.

So when I go to my friends' house I will stand firm and allow myself to only eat vegetables.  When I watch movies with my family I will make healthier choices and reach for that air popped popcorn instead of those greasy, salty chips.  And Fast Food restaurants?  Well, I will do everything in my power to avoid them.  Even if it means packing a lunch from home!  If that's not possible?  Then I will make healthy choices and opt for a wrap or salad instead of hamburger and fries.

My dear friends, we are never alone when we battle with Satan.  God is always there with us and He will stand firm with us.  We only need to ask.

I Will Pray

I apologize for the lack of blog posts lately.  I was away on vacation with my family and then have been adjusting to my little girl being in Grade 1 this year.

I have to admit, I am feeling extremely discouraged right now.  Things seem to keep popping up that raise my stress levels and cause me to want to binge eat and then hide in a corner.

It seems like when things just start to pick up and get better, something else is thrown my way that brings me back down again.  It is extremely frustrating.

Have you ever had those times when you finally feel like you are getting ahead of the game?  Where you feel like you are finally "taking the bull by the horns" and making progress and putting the right foot in front, only to find yourself being knocked down again and again and again?  That is how I am feeling right now.

Don't get me wrong, I know that I am the one to blame and I know that I cannot point fingers at anyone other  than myself, but boy do I wish I could!  I wish I could turn around and blame it on all the stress factors that have risen up as of late.  I wish I could point the finger of blame on Satan and say "Stop tempting me!"  Sadly, though, it is not going to do anybody any good if I do that.

After returning from holidays I had honestly anticipated a small weight gain.  Nothing major, but some minor weight gain just due to the fact that you eat out a couple of times and the like.  I did not expect, after being away for a week, to come home and see the scale tell me that I had gained 10 pounds on my holidays!

If there was ever a time where I wanted to pick up my scale and throw it across the house, this was it.  I will admit, I cried.  Gut wrenching sobs.  It hurt.  I felt truly and utterly defeated.  I honestly felt like throwing in the towel.

After I managed to calm myself down I tried to think about some of the things that stood out to me about why this happened and one major thing screamed at me from deep within my heart.  I was not praying.  Simple as that.  I stopped asking God to help me make healthier choices and to help me overcome the temptations that I was facing.  I forgot to put Him first.

I feel foolish.  Here I sit writing a blog that says that you need to bring it all before our Heavenly Father and I was flat out avoiding doing just that.

I have hit a valley.  A low point where I need to pick myself back up and continue on that climb to the top.  I will not let this defeat me.

I will pray.

GoodBye Sugary Sweets

You have been a bad friend to me!

Okay, I will be honest, I have to be on here otherwise this whole blog will be pointless.  I have not been good the past couple of  days.  I have allowed my emotions to take control of me and have found myself eating foods that I know I should be avoiding.  Instead of bring myself humbly before God, asking for his strength to help me pass these cravings, I have given in and let food satisfy me again.

I am not going to lie and say that this journey is easy.  Pardon the pun, but sugar coating things never did anybody any good.  So here I sit, hanging my head in shame as I admit to what I have done.

The guilt is terrible.  Knowing now that I have not only let myself down but have let my readers down too.  It makes me feel awful.

I don't want to be fake though.  I don't want to wake up in the morning and say that I have done nothing wrong and that I can start over again.  I don't want to start over!  I want to be able to continue strong on this journey that I have started.  I want to be able to come here and tell you that I did it!  I overcame my "wants" and my temptations!  Yet right now I feel like I have put back some of those bricks that I had removed from my mountain.  My road became shorter in the last few days.

Over the next few days I know that the "want" to eat unhealthy foods is going to be excruciatingly difficult to overcome. My life is shaping up to be extremely busy and full of difficulties at the moment and it is at this point that I reach for comfort foods.

Ruth Graham, in her book Fear Not Tomorrow, God is Already There, says:

Either we can be victimized and become victims, or we can be victimized and rise above it.  Often it is easier to play the victim then take off our masks and ask for help.  We get comfortable with our victim status.  It becomes our identity and is hard to give up.  The Israelites often played the victim card, and I love what God finally tells them, "You have circled this mountain long enough.  Now turn north" (Detueronomy 2:3 [NASB]).

Turn North!  It's time to move on!  Self-pity, fear, pride, and negativity paralyze us.  Take off our masks takes courage, but if we don't do it, we will remain in our victim status and end up stunted.

How incredible!  Turn North!  That is what I want to do!  I am sick of circling the mountain!  I am sick of feeling victimized by my weight and unhealthy eating patterns.

I know I can stop these unhealthy circling patterns by coming before God in prayer.  Yet I feel awkward at times praying about food.  I mean, here we sit being able to eat all different kinds of delicious, stomach satisfying foods while that are countless others who do not have any kind of food to eat.  Should my focus not be on them and their lack rather then me and my lack of "want"?  It seems so petty at times.

Yet I know that if I am to truly overcome my food idols I need to come humbly on my knees.  No more being filled up with foods that are only going to let me down the next morning.  I am going to be filled up with and satisfied with the love of God.

It's Not Fair!

I think that I have said "It's not fair!" to myself more times then I can count.  I know that I have cried in my room on more than one occasion thinking that it's not fair that I look the way I do or that I feel the way I do.  It's not fair that I have this struggle with food and this constant feeling of "want."

Have you ever walked through your local grocery store and peeked at what items were in another person's grocery cart as you walked passed them?  I have.  In fact, I catch myself doing it all the time.  I don't know why I do it either.  I leave the grocery store feeling jealous and envious of others.  Why can't I look like her?

As I was reading Made to Crave last night, Lysa TerKeurst had an entire chapter written on this very topic.  Satan tempts us in so many ways.  He creates feelings of self-doubt in order to bring us further away from God.  He takes pleasure in knowing the exact words to say so that our sinful desires keep us away from building up our relationship with our heavenly Father.  How many times have I cried to my husband thinking that it's not fair that I can't look and feel good in a simple pair of jeans?  How many times have I stood in front of the bathroom mirror thinking that it's not fair that I don't look good in a bathing suit?  How many times have I wanted to give up this fight all because it's not fair?

Food may be a struggle in my life, but I am choosing to not let it be a curse.  Sure, it is going to take time and work and strength beyond what I am capable of, but I am willing to work at it.  My struggles may be outward in appearance and are evident to me each and every day, but they are how God is teaching me to be dependent on Him.

So while I may not be able to eat those french fries or that piece of cake or even that simple chocolate chip cookie, I will rejoice in the fact that God is helping me break down my idols of food and build up a strong dwelling place for Him in me.