New Beginnings

Pictured from "Ingeniosus"

New Beginnings just seemed fitting for the title of this blog post.  

It has been far too long since I have found myself sitting in front of the keys of this computer.  Far too long since I have spent time talking with all of you about the daily struggles of my heart.  So much has changed since my last post.

I am now the proud Mommy of 3 beautiful children.  Not long after my last post we were blessed with the news that we were expecting.  God brought into our lives a handsome little boy who now holds a special place in all of our hearts.  I wouldn't change anything for the world.

Unfortunately, during my pregnancy, I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes.  Dear Friends, I found myself putting on so much weight that I knew that there was something not quite right.  Once I received my diagnosis, steps were put in place to not only keep our Little Man safe, but to also help keep me healthy and safe too.  Thankfully I did not put on any more weight after I was diagnosed and we were blessed with a healthy, handsome, 8lbs 7oz bouncing baby boy!

I now sit here battling the "baby weight" yet again!  I thought that I was through this battle.  I thought that after I had our Little Man I would be able to make all the right choices again since I had already been down this road before.

I was wrong.  Oh so terribly wrong.

It is a struggle, dear friends.  There is no other way to put it.  This is a battle that rages war within my soul and my being.

While I may have made the right decisions before finding myself pregnant, I am struggling to find the right balance between being a Mom to 3 and taking care of the house and all the other things that fall in the role of being a wife and mother.

So I invite you to come along on this journey with me again.  As I strive to be the wife, mother, and friend that God designed me to be!  :)

 

Beautiful Blooms Require Work

Growing up my Mom had the most beautiful gardens.  She still does.  She cares for them in a meticulous manner.  She weeds them and ensures that no plant is chocking the life out of another plant.  She waters them and provides them with the necessary nutrients that they need to grow to their full potential.

My Mom really enjoys gardening.  She knows what it takes to make a garden grow.

I, on the other hand, would LOVE to have a beautiful garden with beautiful flowers blooming but I want nothing to do with the work involved in taking care of it.  The thought of being outdoors weeding and pruning and cutting and digging is not my idea of fun.

As Lysa TerKeurst says, "I want the flowers but not the work.  Isn't that the way it is with many things in life -- we want the results but have no desire to put in the work required?"  (Made to Crave pg. 35).

Now take a look at how you care for yourself.  We wash ourselves to ensure that we are clean on the outside.  Some times we even take special care in how we style our hair and we may even put on some makeup.  A splash of perfume and something nice to wear and we are ready to face the day.

However, what are you putting into your body to care for it?

Just like a gardener wouldn't feed their plants something that would potentially harm them, we too need to be aware of the "deadly" foods that we are putting into our bodies.

We need to be willing to do the work in order to cultivate a healthier version of ourselves.

I am sure that we all wish that we could snap our fingers and voila!  A smarter, better, healthier version of ourselves would appear.  However, we all know that it is something only possible in our dreams.

Besides, if we could do that, then what would become of our relationship with God that we have been so strongly working towards?  We may be a physically healthier version of ourselves but we would not be a spiritually healthier version of ourselves.

This journey is going to take everything you can put into it and then some.  At times it may even require your blood, sweat and tears.  But keep your eyes fixed on the destination that you are working towards.

I cannot say how long this journey is going to take you because for each person it is different.  I have been on this journey for almost 4 years and with each day I grow healthier both physically and spiritually.  I have had my set backs.  I have shed many tears and yes, there was even some blood involved.  However, I can see my destination and I know that I will be a much stronger person once I get there.

Food Diary: Friend or Foe?

Do you keep a Food Diary.  You know, that little book that you write down every little morsel of food that goes into your mouth? 

Okay, I will admit, it can be extremely daunting and difficult and horribly old fashioned, but you would be surprised how many extra little details you miss when you try and calculate everything at the end of the day.

A Food Diary can be a great way to help you stay on track in your journey and can also help you to see when, in your life, you are more susceptible to snacking on foods that we know we will feel guilty about later.

Earlier today I posted this question on my Facebook Page.  Mothers consume an extra 73,043 calories a year by doing this . . . . 


The answer?  Stealing food from their kids.

Incredible isn't it?  Without thought we are allowing ourselves to fall prey to the one thing we are trying so hard to prevent.

I know that I am guilty of this and I am trying so hard to not do it.  Regardless of how much my mouth is watering when I see those delicious and delectable Teddy Graham crackers on the table!

Now, a Food Diary is going to be of no value to you if you cannot be honest.  That means, regardless of whether or not you had a bowl of ice cream at 9:00 a.m., you need to write it down.  That way, when you look back on it you will be able to see why you are not as far along in your journey as you were hoping or if your eating patterns reflect significant events in your life.

So what are some benefits of keeping a Food Diary?  Well, here are a few for you:

• Accountability - have your partner or a friend look at your Food Diary with you at the end of the week to see where you could have been more faithful in your journey.  
• Increases Awareness - you are able to more readily see where those extra calories are coming from
• Calorie Awareness - a Food Diary might help you realize that you are eating too many calories at one meal and will help you see where you can shed some calories and more strategically place them throughout your day.
• Proper Eating - a Food Diary will help you realize if you are eating too much of one food group and not enough from another food group.  It will also help you realize if you are eating enough fruits and vegetables.
• Portion Sizes - a Food Diary can also help you see if you are eating proper portion sizes in your meals.  Not sure what proper portion sizes are?  Check Here!

Those are some pretty big benefits!

When I started off on my journey I kept a Food Diary occasionally.  I will admit, I was not always the most faithful at writing in it daily but when I did, it most definitely helped me see where I was going wrong and what I needed to change.  Plus, my husband would look at it which helped to keep me more accountable.

My biggest pointer to keeping a Food Diary would be to write down what you are going to eat the day before.  That way, you can just follow it without having to sit and think and ponder throughout your day.  However, make sure that if you do eat something that was not previously written down that you include it in, maybe in a different colour, so that you can see where you may need to make changes (for example:  you may need to add in more protein throughout your day to help curb your cravings for snacks).

Here are 5 tips from WebMD to help you keep your Food Diary:

• Write as you go.  Don't wait until the end of the day to record what you ate and drank.  "We recommend they write down as soon as they can after they eat," says Victor Stevens, PhD.
• Focus on portion size.  Practice at home with measuring cups, measuring spoons, or food scales.  And be aware that people tend to underestimate how much food they're served.
• Use whatever type of Food Diary that works for you.  It doesn't matter whether you use scrap paper, a personal digital assistant (PDA), or a notebook.  What matters is that you use it.
• Don't skip your indulgent days.  "We encourage people to keep records especially on days when they're tempted to eat," says Stevens.  "What gets measured tends to get changed."
• Cook at home.  You'll have more control over what you consume, and you know what that food contains, and how much of it you're eating.  That makes for a more detailed entry in your food diary.

Another important thing to consider when you are keeping your Food Diary, says Julian Hooks from Review that Diet, is what you were doing while you were eating.  He lists 4 important questions to ask yourself:

1. Did you eat in front of the TV?
2. Were you snacking while preparing a meal or cleaning up afterwards?
3. Do you eat while doing other tasks like reading or working?
4. Do you frequently eat as a social activity?

"These are most often times that we eat without even realizing it," he says.  "And more importantly, eating while we are not even hungry."

So if a Food Diary is something that you feel will work for you then I encourage you to start one today!!!  It may be another step in your journey to help you realize your cravings towards food and turn them into cravings towards God!

If you require a template to follow for your Food Diary, consider this one from Review that Diet.

Self-Esteem: Do you Ever Feel Like You are Breaking the Mirror?

The above picture is of Brooke from an episode of One Tree Hill

If there is one thing I struggle with as much as my weight issues it is self-esteem.  I am very critical of how I see myself and am very concerned with how others see me.

Take a moment to close your eyes and draw up a mental picture of yourself.  Who are you as a person in your mind?  What do you look like?  What are your good at?  What are your weaknesses?

Is this mental picture of yourself an accurate depiction of who you are as a person?  Or are you easily critical and over emphasis your "flaws"?

Did you know that we develop our self-image starting from a very young age?  We begin to base our self-image in life experiences and interactions we have with other people.  This self-image, or mental picture, is what contributes to our self-esteem (see "How Can I Improve My Self-Esteem").

The Dove Real Truth About Beauty research found that by the age of 14 more than half (55%) of Canadian girls already feel pressure to be beautiful.  By the time they are 29, this number increases to 96%.  After the age of 14, girls increasingly become their own worst beauty critic.  While only 10% of girls 10-14 put pressure on themselves to be beautiful, this number climbs to 59% of women 18-16 (taken from "Surprising Self Esteem Statistics").

These numbers are scary to me.  Being a Mom of two young girls I see these numbers and cringe.  It is one of the reasons that I constantly remind my girls that they are beautiful.

Yet it is so easy for me to say this to my girls but increasingly harder for me to believe it myself.  

If there is one thing that I dread more than the numbers on the scale, it is standing in front of a mirror naked.  Let me introduce you to my mind as I stand there:

Look at yourself.  How could your husband possibly be attracted to you in that way.  Look at your stretch marks.  Their hideous.  And have you seen your stomach lately?  Nothing but loose, jiggly skin.  I don't even want to start talking about your posterior.  Seriously, Laura.  You need to do something about this.  How can you stand yourself?

Harsh isn't it?  Yet for me, this is my cruel reality.  

It is only through prayer and petition to God that I am able to slowly begin to focus on something more than my outer appearance.

The Bible talks a lot about self-esteem and appearance.

1 Samuel 16 vs 7 says "But the Lord said to Samuel, 'Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks on the heart.' "

Song of Solomon 4 vs 7 says "You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you."

Psalm 139 vs 13 to 14 says "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Wonderful are your works, my soul knows it very well."

Lastly, one of the most important verses, in my opinion, when it comes to self-esteem issues:

Genesis 1 vs 27 says "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them."

We are created in His image.  How then can I see myself in the manner that I do?  

There is only one answer for that one.  It is Satan's way of drawing us away from having that close and deep loving relationship with our heavenly father.

Dear Friends, if low self-esteem is something that you struggle with please know that you are not alone.  Write on your hearts the above passages and know that we have a loving heavenly Father who wants us to see ourselves as He sees us. 

One who is created in His image; one who is fearfully and wonderfully made.

I'll Praise You With The Dance!

Dear Friends, today I want to dance!

The sun is shining, the air is cool, and the skies are blue!  My heart and my soul are filled in so many unbelievable ways!

I can feel God working in my life as my heart becomes less troubled and begins to feel more at ease.

Oh how I want to kick up my feet and dance for Jesus!

God has been making my heart and my spirit joyful in a time when I feel like I could be discouraged and downcast.  Life seems to have been filled with many trials and tribulations lately but through God's grace I am managing to over come them.

Do you find that when things get tough and unexpected situations arise it is much easier to turn away from the journey and turn to what we think gives us comfort?  Do you find that the temptation to turn to that pint of ice cream or chocolate bar bears down on you stronger than before?

It does for me.

It is like every fiber in my being, everything part of me is drawn to those things that I know will only leave me with an empty feeling of satisfaction and an extreme amount of guilt.  I find myself taking steps towards the cupboard or the fridge where the the snacks are "hiding" only to snap back to reality and turn in the opposite direction.

Oh how easy it is, dear friends, to fall on our knees before God and pray when things in our life are going as expected!  Yet how easy it is for us to turn away from the great comforter and deliverer when we feel like we have been handed the short end of the stick.

Dear Friends, may I continue to encourage you to press on!  Continue to break down the mountain of bricks of temptations and cravings and turn them into a pathway of prayer!  Your rewards will be great!