I Am A Work In Progress

It struck me this morning, as I was getting dressed for the day, how much of our values are placed in our appearance.

I have always dreaded getting dressed.  Dressing up for a fancy occasion?  Well, it is filled with anxiety, dread, fear and multiple outfit changes to find the exact one that will not show my "mommy pouch."

Why do we, as women, think that people are going to judge us and who we are inside by what we wear outside?  Will it make me a nicer person if I wore dress pants and blouses to work instead of my usual comfy pants and a shirt?

Well, the answer is an obvious No.  However, I will be treated differently by the way that I am dressed.

Don't get me wrong, I do not think it is appropriate to wear sweatpants and baggy shirts to the office when you are meeting with clients.  However, I work in a field that causes me to get messy and be hands on.  Wearing expensive clothes is not an option (in more ways than one!).

So why is it that I feel the need to work myself into a frenzy when it is time to put on a mere pair of jeans?  Why does the thought of someone being able to see my stomach rolls make me want to hide away from the world?

To be honest, it seems like such a petty concern when their are bigger things to be worried about.  I feel like someone should be slapping me on my wrist or pouring a glass of cold water over my head and say "Snap out of it Laura!"

A very good friend of mine, whom I love dearly, put it this way.

When you have been extremely overweight, it doesn't matter how hard you try, it is so hard to see yourself as something other than obese.

Wow......

That sounds exactly. like. me.

Crazy, I know.  Yet when I look in the mirror I still see this big belly with rolls and fat and that darn muffin top spilling over the top of my jeans.  Let's not even begin to talk about the stretch marks!

I struggle with this . . . . DAILY!  My prayers often include the words "let me see myself for the beautiful woman that you created."

Yet I wonder.  Is this vanity talking?  Do I really need to have the approval from others for how I look?  Should I not be more concerned about how I look to my Heavenly Father?  And not only how I look on the outside, but how my heart and soul look to Him?

Why, then, do I burden myself with such craziness?  I have yet to find an answer to this.

All I can say is this.  I am a work in progress and I hope and pray that God is not finished with me yet!  I still have some spiritual growing to do!