I Will Pray

I apologize for the lack of blog posts lately.  I was away on vacation with my family and then have been adjusting to my little girl being in Grade 1 this year.

I have to admit, I am feeling extremely discouraged right now.  Things seem to keep popping up that raise my stress levels and cause me to want to binge eat and then hide in a corner.

It seems like when things just start to pick up and get better, something else is thrown my way that brings me back down again.  It is extremely frustrating.

Have you ever had those times when you finally feel like you are getting ahead of the game?  Where you feel like you are finally "taking the bull by the horns" and making progress and putting the right foot in front, only to find yourself being knocked down again and again and again?  That is how I am feeling right now.

Don't get me wrong, I know that I am the one to blame and I know that I cannot point fingers at anyone other  than myself, but boy do I wish I could!  I wish I could turn around and blame it on all the stress factors that have risen up as of late.  I wish I could point the finger of blame on Satan and say "Stop tempting me!"  Sadly, though, it is not going to do anybody any good if I do that.

After returning from holidays I had honestly anticipated a small weight gain.  Nothing major, but some minor weight gain just due to the fact that you eat out a couple of times and the like.  I did not expect, after being away for a week, to come home and see the scale tell me that I had gained 10 pounds on my holidays!

If there was ever a time where I wanted to pick up my scale and throw it across the house, this was it.  I will admit, I cried.  Gut wrenching sobs.  It hurt.  I felt truly and utterly defeated.  I honestly felt like throwing in the towel.

After I managed to calm myself down I tried to think about some of the things that stood out to me about why this happened and one major thing screamed at me from deep within my heart.  I was not praying.  Simple as that.  I stopped asking God to help me make healthier choices and to help me overcome the temptations that I was facing.  I forgot to put Him first.

I feel foolish.  Here I sit writing a blog that says that you need to bring it all before our Heavenly Father and I was flat out avoiding doing just that.

I have hit a valley.  A low point where I need to pick myself back up and continue on that climb to the top.  I will not let this defeat me.

I will pray.