Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Struggles of the Heart

Dear Friends, I apologize for my lack of writing lately.  I was away on a trip to a Children's Ministry conference in Atlanta.  Let me tell you, my heart, my mind and my soul were filled to the brim while I was away!  It is so amazing to be in a place with 5,000 other people praising and lifting our hands and hearts in worship to our Heavenly Father!

My week away brought a lot of realizations into my life.  Some of those being my own personal relationship with our Heavenly Father and others being the lives of my children.  I feel so refreshed after being away!  What was even more touching to me was coming home to my family and hearing of how much they appreciate all that I do!

With all that being said, these last 3 days have brought challenges for me.  I am finding myself struggling giving over my weight issues to God.  Before I left I thought that I had truly brought my struggles to the foot of the cross and left them in the hands of God.  However, now that I have returned home I have since learned that I am still looking at it in terms of self and not in terms of bringing all that I have to Him.

The numbers are making me increasingly discouraged as well.  It has been 21 days since I have begun making many lifestyle changes and I have yet to see an impact in the numbers.  I am trying to remind myself that this journey is not just about the numbers.  That I am not determined by the size of my clothes but rather by my love for our Heavenly Father.

Still, discouragement seems to surround me.  How can I be making these lifestyle changes and not be seeing a difference?  What will it take for me to bring my weight down to a healthier place?  Is this a test for me?

I wish that I had the answers to the questions that circle around in my head each day.

I am currently reading a book by John Piper titled "A Hunger for God:  Desiring God Through Fasting and Prayer".  I am finding myself at a point where I need to do all that I can to try and still my mind and my heart so that I can hear God speaking to me clearly.

Dear Friends, I want to thank you for sticking with me this far.  Please know that this is my cry for help and a way for you to understand, even if it is briefly, the struggles that many of us face when it comes to our weight.  It is so easy for us to put labels on people, but remember that you do not know the struggles of their heart.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Laura, have you tried a medical route? Have you discussed these issues with your family practitioner youay find that no matter what you do, or how much you leave it in gods hands, you may need to take medication.... Have you had your thyroid tested lately? I see you are very active but until you rule out medical issues, you can't fully open up to the lord

Laura said...

Dear Anonymous: Thank you for your comment! I have not tried a medical route yet. I did have my thyroid tested a few years ago but I have been wondering if I need to have it tested again. I have seriously been considering taking my exercise log and my food diary to my family doctor and questioning him as to what could be causing the lack of weight loss. Thank you so much for taking the time to write! I greatly appreciate it!

Tracy said...

Laura - you are truly an inspiration to everyones lives you touch. I know we have not seen each other or talked for a long time but reading this today just brings to light my continued struggles as well with my weight. I have not gained but am trying to lose and just is not working for me. Maybe I too, am concentrating too much on the numbers and not enough on my inner self. Thank you for who you are and what you continue to bring to my life even if it is through facebook and email. You are truly a huge inspiration to me and a woman I look up to very much. Thank you Laura.

VMS and ScrapbookingOasis said...

I know a few years ago I had mentioned to you about thyroid (since I think you did have some symptoms at the time) - if you go the medical route, see if they will check not only TSH but also T3 and T4. Since we last talked I have learned that generally they only check T3 & T4 if the TSH is off, BUT for some people the TSH can appear normal but T3 and T4 are off.

I have been going to the gym (which I never worked out before!) I did slack for a little while, but despite going to the gym I've gained weight :( I have even changed up what I do. I know I FEEL better going to the gym but sometimes it's a 'downer' to see that the scale has gone up instead of down.

And finally ((hugs)) you do look great and you have lost quite a bit of weight the past few years, we'll pray that this is a bump in the road for you right now and that you will be able to get past it.

Anonymous said...

Also check your thyroid antibodies I have hashimoto's thyroid itis which they only found by taking an antibodies test!

Laura said...

Thank you all so much for your kindhearted comments! I thoroughly enjoyed reading them and I thank you all for your advice as well!

My heart smiles when I hear people who understand. I will pray for you all as you walk in your own personal Faith journey!